What?!

After my crazy two month long hiatus (which tends to happen to teachers once they break free from the school doors mid-June), there have been some drastic life changes. (Thank you to Mrs. M for prodding me to update the world on my life! :D)

1. It is no secret that I no longer work with my previous employer. HR made an indirect threat of my not finding a job elsewhere (so I "might as well just sign the contract.") so you know what that means. I asked to where do I send my letter of resignation. Sadly, all ties are not cut from that district until my health insurance stops on September 30th. AND of course, financial issues have just come up from an involuntary change of dental plans. Of course.

2. Out of the angst and freedom, I kicked myself into gear and FINALLY started my own photography business upon the years of advice from family and friends. It is called Bit of Ivory Photography, and I love it. It's just a side thing right now, but it's a side thing that makes me happy to get to take photos of people and their special events. I get so giddy when I take "the perfect shot." This prefaces my #3 update.

3. Because the Big Guy Upstairs loves to show off, I was not only offered the art teacher position at AS, but also the digital photography teacher spot! I signed my contract last Friday. So obviously, I'm running around in my head to get syllabi and course outlines complete. I'm so excited about this opportunity to stretch my professional boundaries... with creativity and a ton of flexibility.

It's a huge pay cut, but with all the additional benefits, I think it all balances out.

It'll be different since I will no longer be working with second graders. It'll be the big dogs now. Middle and high school. Good thing I've been with SIG for 6 years to have that older student experience.

4. The wedding is now in t-minus 4 months. Mr. R and I have found a beautiful new apartment that we'll be "signing up" for the waiting list on Monday. This is the best part: 3 minute commute. What what? Yes. 3 minutes. Literally. We timed it. Mr. R loves that the washer and dryer already comes with the apartment and that's there's a garage for EACH apartment. I just love the space and the area. I can put up my drying racks in a tucked away space so it doesn't get in people's ways. Swoon.

Well, I need to get back to figuring out my schedule for the day even though it's nearly 1pm. I will certainly miss this once school starts on August 26th.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

SEE! I look great on paper!

I just wish it were in the right timing.... :(

---------------------------------

Dear Ms. F,

I just received your impressive resume and employment application. Thank you for your interest in a NS teaching position.

At this point in time we are fully staffed in the areas reflected in your correspondence. I will; however keep your paperwork in an active file and will contact you if an appropriate position becomes available.

You are welcome to update your file at any time in the future.

I wish you every success in your job search.

Yours truly,
Mrs. H
Head of LS
NS

The hunt is on.

It is June 19th. The first official day of the teacher's concept of summer. Am I excited? Yes. Did I sleep in? You bet I did.

Unfortunately, now that it is summer, I need to be even more aggressive with finding a new job. I technically have an 11-day safety net until my contract is due to HR. Does that petrify me? Yes. I live for safety nets. I rarely take impractical risks. What scares me most is that I know this is far beyond my control... and it is a lesson He's teaching me right now. Do I want to learn this lesson? NO. I'm rearing my stubborn head and saying I don't like it.

As for an update with Y, it's not going to happen this year. Basically, it is very unprofessional to tell me that you'll let me know my interview time by such-and-such specified date (emphasis on specified); you'd love to have me in for an interview. You woo me into an optimistic excitement. Then three days AFTER that specified date (without a note, mind you), tell me "We're not extending an interview at this time." Leading desperate, enthusiastic applicants on is not cool and very discouraging.

So it's back to square one. I've applied to/contacted all of the non-religious private schools in the area as well as the school district that I currently live in. I have even looked at local universities and various non-teaching jobs. Sadly, in the education industry, it's all in who you know because effective education is all about relationships. Networking is the key. I'm floundering because I feel like I've exhausted all my resources. Name drop, name drop, name drop.

I was thinking next Tuesday, I'd go to individual schools and personally drop off resumes and other samples of work. Is there anything else I can do? I wish I could expand my geographic options, but I can't right now. Not until the wedding in December... that's just not practical.

So here I begin my summer. Getting ready for my Residential Dean position at SIG this year (at least I always have that summer job!). Reading my piles of books and magazines. Working on wedding details. TRYING to find a suitable occupation in August.

I have so much to offer places. I can confidently say I have a lot of talents and skills. I'm a quick learner, and I can't stand being judged by my lack of "formal experience." I may not have 25+ years of full-time teaching experience, but I have passion, fresh ideas, dedication, and certainly a very strong work ethic.

I just wish I had some more guidance.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Jamestown Accomplished.

Still waiting for some word from Y... May 18th is supposed to be the official day until they make final decisions about the fund allocations. The TRT position I desperately want is up for a vote. Please, please pray that they deem it invaluable to the district. ... but either way, I will hopefully know something sometime next week. (With all the irony, I'll probably find out when I'm in PA for Miss K's wedding... lol)

Everything is starting to wind down at school, and I'm starting to bring things home now. My goal is to bring a crateful of stuff home every day so there won't be a huge amount towards school's final days.

Another second grade teacher emailed me today and asked for more information about an activity I wrote about on here. It made me realize I should probably write more ideas and fewer rants... The difficulties of this year shouldn't have taken over as they did. Live and learn. Hopefully by next September, I'll have better stories to tell.

Because of the generosity of Target Field Trip Grants, we were able to go to the Jamestown Settlement on Wednesday, May 6th via a fancy charter bus (thank you, novelty of a DVD player on the bus). It was really awesome to be able to take all those kids to Jamestown. Just on the bus ride alone, a lot of the kids freaked out about the tunnel bridge. They hadn't seen it before?? It's unfathomable to me... but reality for some.



We had a ton of parents show up, and Miss EB helped as a teacher figure. As a final project for the trip, the students were instructed to create a photo story about the Powhatans, either in PowerPoint or poster form. The kids could have taken pictures themselves or use the photos I took to create their stories. I put mine (and Miss EB's) on a Picasa website so parents could download/print. So far, we've gotten a great response from parents.



Those projects are due on May 20th, and I'm really hoping that more students choose PowerPoints...

This field trip was my pride and joy this year. As long as I'm in education, I hope to at least do one big project each year. Last year was the gardening grant... this year, a field trip... next year? I have NO idea. (Can I please just find out something job-wise soon!?!?)

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Hypocrisy.

There aren't very many things that rile my nerves. But when it comes to education, I have a very hot button for justice. Are the children being treated fairly? Are the staff being treated fairly and professionally? Is this procedure ethical? What are the consequences to misconduct? I always want justice to be met and served with respect. Well, that button has been slammed over and over the past two years, and it has never set well with me.

As I was perusing the DOE's website for surrounding area school report cards, I come across this...

My current school's "report card." I looked under the 2007-2008 year because that was the year I first started... and it angered me. These are lies. I was there for 181 days and can justfully say that these are the most absurd, dishonest numbers I've ever seen. Someone did not report accurately and truthfully. Under "Offenses Against Staff," why is there a zero? I can count TWO incidents alone that occurred in second grade. Why are those NOT reported? And 13 incidents for disorderly conduct? That's a huge joke. There were at least 5 every week in second grade... and I know that we weren't the only ones having issues.

I looked at other schools' report cards, and those actually looked more accurate with "Disorderly Conduct" in the 100 range. That's real life; it's candid and transparent. At least I honestly know what I'm getting myself into. What do you have to hide?

When the sole purpose of a school report card is to inform the public and taxpayers, I have a huge problem when either one is being misled. What about the parents deciding where to send their children? They look at this and think, "Oh wow! This seems like such a great school! Look at those marks!" This school looks angelic compared to the rest of the district (even moreso than the top performing elementary school). I would be so livid if I sent my own children to a school such as this (upon this knowledge) only to have the wool ripped from my eyes, weeks into the school year.

It makes my heart ache even more about wanting to find a new school. To have my name attached to such disillusion... I want to be a part of something that is honest, respectful, and professional. I know I should be grateful for having a job. This school has taught me a lot about myself, my teaching, and my students... and I am indebted for that experience... but at what cost?

How can we teach our students to be honest, good citizens when we can't even do the same?

There is a poster in our hallway: "Character is who you are when no one is looking." What about when everyone is looking and we still can't do it? Hypocrites.

-- Miss Chelsea >:|

Waiting, waiting...

As I continue to wait to hear Y's decision on new hires for next school year, I await the arrival of June. June 17th to be exact.

Amidst the patience building process, it's been super busy with spring break, Miss K's bridal shower, birthday upon birthday, and wedding planning. Suffice to say, I've let my mind actually wander from the school path. It's nice forcing myself to have that mental break. When 4:30pm rolls around every weekday, my teacher brain goes into sleep mode until 9am the following morning.

If I thought things couldn't get grosser in my wonderful germ factory of a classroom, well, they did. There have been a few confirmed cases of ringworm going around recently. Not only is it disgustingly a fungus, it is also very contagious. Embarrassingly, yours truly now has a delightful little mushroom-of-a-mark near her collarbone. Grubby, grubby, grubby! I've never had ringworm before, and having to buy jock itch cream to cure it is not exactly my idea of feminine beauty. Ugh. If I hear any mention of swine flu in the general region of P-town, I will seriously wrap myself in a hypoallergenic, germ-killing bubble and teach in sign language. I wish these kids were more cleanly!

In summer job news, I got a call from T to let me know I got the Residential Dean position at UT! That solves so many money issues and it's what I had hoped for. Originally, SIG wasn't going to give me the RD position because I'm not local to Austin... buuuut, I'm in now. :) It's going to be so much fun this summer in Texas.

And now I return to the waiting process...

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Not by an eight-year-old.

I may seem harsh in my reaction, but if I would not tolerate it from a grown man, I will not tolerate it from a young boy who has had repeated offenses and knows right from wrong.

I thought I had heard it all, but that was incorrect when on Thursday M decided to tell K a highly derogatory comment about my chest. Not only did he say it within my earshot, but he said it to another student who instantly recognized the inappropriateness and now has that disgusting phrase in his head.

This is not the first time M has given sexually-inappropriate comments. The first time he did so, it was directed to some of my little girls (there were only 4 of them, BACK OFF!). I brought his mother in for a conference to discuss this and said if it happens again, he will be written up and dealt with by the principal. It is not tolerated nor is it acceptable in any way.

He lied to me when I approached him. I was angry and felt very uncomfortable that a child would have the audacity to say something so vulgar to his TEACHER, an ADULT, and a WOMAN. It is an issue I do not take lightly, especially with someone who has said things before. I was angry before-- you are dealing with little girls' self esteems. By age eight, they have already been subjected to rude, nasty comments about their bodies. UNACCEPTABLE.

Girls already struggle with image, self-consciousness, and body security as they grow up. They do not need vapid-minded little boys treating them like sexual objects. I may be taking it to the extreme here since I'm glossing over this detail, but there a lot more other details that relate to this story, but do not pertain, so I won't go into them.

I became angry again because apparently the proverbial "smack on the hand" did NOTHING for him. He still thought it okay to say whatever he's heard before. At age eight, children know right from wrong very well. Now, if he were at all persuaded to say something like that, that's an entirely different issue. He was not, therefore, he acted on his own accord to get a rise out of his classmates.

M was written up to the office and brought BACK to my classroom. I was so peeved by this point because it made me so uncomfortable, thinking, "If he said it to me, what else will he say to my girls?" People will think what they want to think, no matter how inappropriate. But if something is uttered into the world and affects another human being in such a negative way, then it needs to be addressed and reprimanded.

I woke up the next morning still pretty angry and upset that I had to deal with this again. I felt bad for Mr. R because my entire morning commute phone conversation consisted of my venting and ranting about the lack of parenting today. (Thank you, Mr. R, for just being you. I don't know how you put up with my crankiness and soapbox moments.) My blood pressure was up, emotions were high. When I got to school, Mrs. MS and Ms. R immediately commanded I talk to the assistant principal about the problem.

Well, I did, but ended up speaking to the principal instead. At first, it was rocky. Again, high emotions and frustration. Point blank-- I did not feel comfortable with M in my room, and I don't want that to get me to the point of being unprofessional. I should not have to tolerate harassment of any kind. What kind of message does that send to children? If students have a right to be comfortable and safe, then so do teachers (according to our school guidance counselor). It was the first time I stood up for myself in front of my principal. I choose my battles wisely. When I get fired up and on my justice box, I want to be heard.

She didn't realize this wasn't his first offense. After that, she showed me the student code of conduct. Apparently, under that code, he should have been suspended for three days. That did not happen.

So what did? M was moved out of my classroom, effective immediately.

Was I surprised? Yes. Was I disappointed? No. Will this solve all problems? I desperately hope so. I hope this was a wakeup call for M's parents and a huge lesson for M.

I have a bit more respect and understanding for my principal from all of this. She took my concerns seriously and respected my thoughts and rights. I deeply appreciated that. A burden was lifted.

Most kids are empathetic... when I arrived back to my classroom, they knew I had been crying. E came up to me, hugged me, and rambled on, "Miss F, how was your last weekend??" Yes, it is Friday and the next day is Saturday. It touched my heart. One rotten apple does not mean the whole barrel has rotted.

Someone kept reminding me all day today the precious moments of childhood innocence. From finding "clues" at recess to teaching their friends yoga moves, I needed that breath of fresh air. I needed the reminder that there still is hope in the future generation.

-- Miss Chelsea

Little jigs.

When a parent tells you that their child hated going to school until this year, your heart does a little jig. When a parent tells you that you are a blessing to them and to their child, your heart goes into humble convulsions.

When talking to GM's mom due to some overly chatty behavior as of late (which attributes to the upcoming trip to see biological mom in the Southwest), it was a gentle affirmation that I know I'm supposed to be in this particular classroom this year. Despite the amounts of hair pulled out, pounding migraines, and overwhelming exhaustion, to know that you helped one child like school for the first time does make it all worthwhile.

I want to cry most days because April and June cannot come soon enough... but the tiny breath of encouragement is refreshing to keep me going for a bit longer.

I got another new student yesterday. Would you believe it that she's actually a girl?? NOT a boy! So rack up the 4 to a 5. :P

I have a phone interview for a pilot travel program through Discovery Education tonight at 8pm. I haven't said much about it on here because I didn't know what to expect. But to get a phone interview is pretty exciting even if all applicants get the opportunity. It would be after SIG, and I'd go to China if it's meant to be. Yes, yes, I'm intentionally keeping my excitement at bay... the very thought that I could be in the land of pandas gets me all giddy. For goodness sakes, when a panda showed up in a video yesterday, I started laughing because all my students shot their heads around to look at me every time that beloved creature popped up on the screen. They're excited that I'm excited. :) If they learn nothing else, they solely know my obsession for the "adorable" (as DW said today) panda. I digress-- yes, if I get to be in the land of my favorite animal ever, well, I don't know how I'd react! Only time will tell.

Complete uneducational tangent-- I was really disappointed to know that the Scrabble game for the Nintendo DS didn't come out today! I pre-ordered mine and have to wait until probably Friday to get it now! Lame, I say, lame. Probably a good thing since I wouldn't have time to really play it now anyway... doh.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Prayer for not-wanting-to-be-ness.

Dear Lord,

Sometimes You show us things to enlighten us on what to do. Sometimes You show us things of what you should do. And most importantly, sometimes You show us things to enlighten us on what NOT to do. I truly feel that this whole school year has shown me what NOT to do as a parent. I'm taking Your hint quite clearly.

And what I have learned: stay-at-home moms have too much time on their hands. The irony? If it was at any way financially feasible, I, too, would love being a stay-at-home mom. Research has shown that children with a stay-at-home parent have better chances in school and life. So, of course, I want that valuable opportunity.

And if that is in my cards, Lord... if for any second I get the sudden urge to pester my child's teacher out of boredom, GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO! Make me knit a blanket or retile my bathroom! Don't let me sit idle, thinking, "I have nothing to do, da dum dum da. My son came home with a yellow face on his behavior chart. The substitute must have something against my child. Last time he got a yellow was when the same sub was there. I need to go complain and tell his teacher if she won't do something about it, then I will."

I know also not to always take my child's word as solid, unbreakable truth. There are always two sides to every story, and I must listen to both sides before passing any sort of judgment. Even though I will try to raise my future child to be honest and true, I will understand kids are kids and not always spotless in their decision-making. It's human nature, but kids are very transparent. You can pick out falsehood like an elephant in a small room.

If you have substantial evidence for something serious happening, then it's rather hard to disprove, especially if that evidence is an adult witness! If there is a victim involved, then that child's safety has to be addressed as well as the situation.

I do not want to be that mom who places the blame on everyone else. Mr. R and I both will take responsibility for our roles in rearing our child; we are his/her first and foremost teacher. What we do, he/she will do. If there is a continual problem that happened BEFORE arriving upon a certain school, then guess what? Not the teacher's blame. What was that? It's not the teacher's fault that a child has an attitude and a chip on its shoulder? Huh? Qu'est-ce que c'est?!

Lord, I would appreciate the serenity and grace to let my future child's teacher do her job and I'll do mine. (Hopefully this future child will not show up for quite a few years!) Give me the remembrance of these mentally-trying times as nudges for future reference. Let history not repeat itself and let it do its job in preventing catastrophic annoyance.

Amen.
-- Miss Chelsea :)

Highly qualified (for optimism).

After my heart stopped pounding, the adrenaline and confidence quickly usurped all ideas of anxiety. I stepped into Y's job fair this past Saturday, just praying desperately I would get encouraged. I was annoyed at first because my pre-registration through their website didn't put my name on the list, but I shook it off once I found out the same thing happened to about a million other people.

All I wanted to get out of the job fair was a surge of hope. That I was not stuck in one place for the rest of my teaching career. That other districts do function differently. That I have a chance.

I received that and more.

I first spoke with the directors of Instructional Technology. I went into complete "I'm valuable and am great at what I do!" mode which in any other circumstance I would completely suck at. I don't know what kicks in when I have my "interview goggles" on. It's a whole other Chelsea; she's brilliant, dedicated, creative, and good at what she does 24/7. I wish I could be more like her more often.

Until the General Assembly decides on how much each district is getting with the whole Stimulus Act, they won't know if the TRT position will be reopened next year. The women were impressed and said they wanted me to come in, but they were waiting for information. Need to know if the job will even be available. I gave my resume, showed off my portfolio, and asked a ton of questions about Y's technology department and resources.

Y has been the ONLY district around here (that I know of) that actually provides VIRTUAL classrooms. Not just for disciplinary problems, but for students who need an extra class for graduation. Way too cool. Way too impressed.

I was just going to leave the job fair since I had solely gone to speak with the IT department. Well, I was browsing the elementary schools there... and I came across two magnet schools. One was Fine Arts. The other Math, Science, and Technology.

Again, I was impressed. I didn't even think elementary magnet schools existed around here! I decided to speak with the principals/assistant principals of the schools to see what kind of things they're doing with technology at their schools. I talked with Fine Arts since I have that art background, and then I talked with M, S, and T. I almost bypassed the latter, too, because the line was really long.

I'm SOO glad I did.

That surge of hope I was desperate for? The MST school has GPS systems, iPods, podcasts, and more of these gadgets for the students to use! Because they get special funding, they are able to get these. The teachers are TOLD to integrate more technology while allowing flexibility in lessons. They also receive duty-free lunch. Once a month, they are given subs for half a day for PLANNING purposes!

What was that?

Fair and just teacher rights/relief?

That EXISTS?!

The AP and I chatted and chatted about what goes on at MST... and he was really enthusiastic when I said I was applying to be a TRT. (He reminded me of the type of friends I hung out with in college! Definitely the same kind of friendly, quirky personality.) As to not burn my bridges, I did say I was keeping my options open. My joy was doing cartwheels in my ribs the more he spoke. I asked practical and realistic quesitons, and he didn't sugarcoat them. I appreciated that. He told me that I should go get a screening interview at the job fair, or they wouldn't be able to invite me out to the school.

I started thinking about maybe broadening my job options again... maybe I could teach another year or two? In a different school? Just to get my foot in the door for the later goal of becoming a TRT? Would teaching in a magnet school change my whole perspective on teaching? Would it rejuvenate my exhausted managing/teaching?

The screening interview was more of a confidence booster. Summarily, the woman said I was "highly qualified" and told me to hang onto my "impressive" portfolio, that I'd be "great" for the TRT job.

Again, super excited. I desperately needed to hear that I was worthy. I was a leech on the compliment. When you've been told over and over what you're doing wrong and not right, things get low. It was so uplifting.

I came home and emailed the people I spoke with, thanking them for speaking to me and for being encouraging.

I received an immediate response from MST AP, and it wrapped up the wonderful optimism.

I remember you very well....I was reviewing your resume after dinner at the in-laws.
We will definitely keep you up to date on what we are doing. I'll know more of our timelines this week.
Enjoy this beautiful weather and the rest of your weekend.
-- AP

That's got to be promising, right??

-- Miss Chelsea :)

What helps me get through the day.

Since this was Black History Month, we had our students create different types of projects either about Martin Luther King, Jr. or Jackie Robinson (our SOL-related historical people). I added the option of a PowerPoint and was so glad that three of my students chose to do that type of slideshow. AJ even made his into a movie on a DVD! He took it to the next level which was pretty cool (even if he did get help from his parents). This past Thursday, the kids marched in an around-the-school parade to show off their projects. At the last minute, I decided to get a cart for my techie kids to show off their smarts (which they were so thrilled about pushing). My class got so many compliments because of it!

If nothing else perspires educationally for me this year, I'm glad that all of the problems I have had forced me into finding solutions to make my days easier. And it's helping set me up for hopefully becoming a TRT. Gosh, I really hope I get that type of position... I try not to think about it too much because I don't want to disappoint myself, but I would be so much happier and useful...


In other news, all of our butterflies have hatched and are loving on the oranges I put in our butterfly net.

I'm such a nerd because I definitely went into all the scientific parts about the butterflies with my kids. They totally make me do it though... and it is really cute when they totally repeat me.

D: The butterfly's proboscis is in the orange!
W: Why is the meconium still on the net??

:)

Random Excitement-- People have been buying a lot of the materials I've created on TeachersPayTeachers.com. Yay for idea validation! :) Hey, it's not a lot of extra money, but it's something!

All right, I need to go finish some errands before Ms. L's birthday laser tag tonight. Fun fun!

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Better weeks.

I've had better weeks, but it seems January and February came in a stormy load. It's been very overwhelming avec my first minor anxiety attack. I say avoid those at all costs; they are downright scary if you've never experienced one before.

It was one of those days where everyone seemed to be complaining. The kids, the teachers, everyone. This week has been a headache and a half and so I've been mentally exhausted. To bring on the nagging and nitpicking onto that stack meant migraine.

Mrs. MS had a talk with the principal two days ago, and apparently in that discussion, I was mentioned. Apparently, the principal asked her if I wanted to leave. Thankfully, Mrs. MS has a voice and her voice is candid, yet cautious. She told her she didn't know, but that I feel like I've been set up for failure from day 1. (It's true, and I'm glad she said it to Mrs. F.) Mrs. MS also talked about how we needed more support and guidance since we were all relatively new to teaching.

Well, the result of that informal meeting was that changes are being made to our grade level. We now have to do our own individual lesson plans so she can find where the breakdown in teaching/learning is. There is a disconnect, she said, and it needs to be found to be fixed. In other words, even though we all stay until about 7pm to 8pm every night, we're going to need to find more time to do things without a planning period.

We're rather discouraged since we seem to never do anything right. We are GOOD TEACHERS. We know what we're doing and we care about our students. We are new, and yes, we are learning ourselves about the politics of education. We know our content and curricula very well, though. That's hard to learn, but at least we have that!

I'm hoping this all results in a change in administrative support. We have had too many events that require their attention, but those events are neglected. Case in point--- today, a student brought in an adult magazine (with oh-so-wonderful fully colored photographs of compromising subjects). What happened to him (a student who just had a parent-teacher conference the day prior)? Nothing. The administration said he is on an ST5 (a behavior management plan).

This bothered me so much because the boy already knows he has no consequences!! And so he jeopardizes other students' emotional innocence. Ugh. It disgusts me to think how he even had access to the material and then his showing it around to other eight year-old kids. The principal wants nothing to do with it. My sense of ethical justice was rearing its ugly head.

To cheer this post up, a cute quote was mentioned today. We were talking about scarcity and limited resources, so we made a list of things we wanted to buy. My students were talking about Xboxes, candy, ice cream, WWF tickets, etc. My little Napoleon Dynamite raised his hand and definitely said he wanted to buy a violin. :) Gosh, I love that kid. He's so awkwardly adorable.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Occupational Stimulus Plan?

It's strange that I just don't update as frequently as I intended when I opened up the blog. It's quite possible I just don't want to recall or reflect upon the events of this school year. Does that sound pessimistic and depressing? It may, but I'm being honest! I do have moments where I really love my students, but those moments get buried by the frustrations and dishearten-ments. I still teach, I still care. However, I do find the need to detach myself from the educational world a lot more this year.

It's caused me to question a lot of whos and whats of my teaching professional life. Am I meant to be a teacher in this capacity? Am I capable of performing to overwhelming modern standards? What happens if I cannot find a job elsewhere? What happens if I feel stuck? How will my students be affected?

Over the past few months, I've heard more and more of people losing their jobs. The sheer reality of that petrifies me (and fully grateful of even having a job). The TRT job (that I desperately want) is unfortunately from one of those departments that will always be in jeopardy of being cut from budgets. Technology is an integral and effective part of education, but it is an extra. It's like the thumb on the hand of schools. Schools would still function without, but it is so useful and powerful when utilized!

Well, because of these recent budget/job cuts and erratically declining economy, the likelihood of my switching jobs next year is becoming dimmer. I have job security now and probably always will as long as I stay in education. Classroom teachers will always be needed. But when do those classroom teachers decide to step out of the comfort box and take the risk of unemployment to improve their mental/emotional health, peace of mind, or long-term goals? Is it worth it? Or should those classroom teachers remain with the security of knowing they will have bi-monthly paychecks to deposit into their bank accounts?

So many questions. So much risk, caution, and practicality are at play. I don't know which to decide. Ultimately, my planning my own life will be trumped by the Ultimate Planner's... but I can't help but think about these things. I have about 5 more months to go. Hopefully some answers are discovered.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Secrets, string, and shotdown.

(As promised, here is a picture from our field trip to the Children's Museum.)

Q came into this morning, excited for life. Granted, he normally is this way and normally it drives me crazy, but today, he was a controlled excited for life (as opposed to spazztastic).

Q: "Miss F, I have a secret. But I can't tell you until tomorrow. Do you want to know the secret?"
M: "Then it wouldn't be a secret anymore, now would it?"
Q: [smiles and wide eyes] "Mmm hmm. But do you like chocolate?"
M: "Oh yes, definitely dark chocolate."
Q: "I know! I got you some chocolate."
M: "Are you telling me hints, Q??"
Q: [big eyes and covers mouth with both hands]

All day it was about this secret. All day he pretty much told me what the secret was. Tomorrow is our class' holiday party before Christmas break. It makes sense.

---
Mrs. MS has a boy in her class who tends to be a very antsy person. DM has a lot of low spectrum autistic tendencies (i.e., he's intellectually brilliant), so she decided to give him a piece of yarn. Well, this proved to be very successful. TOO successful. More successful to the point where DM talked to this string, sang to this string, wrote letters to the string, and read to the string. I didn't believe her at first, but then I watched him. DM was still going to town with this string! It's REALLY comical to think about the extent DM was taking this yarn. I suggested that she give him other colors of string to see what he did. I was fascinated watching him because it wasn't some fancy shiny toy; it was a piece of yarn! Well, he was given a piece of red string. He seriously FREAKED OUT in glee!

Wow is all I had to say. Very interesting. Very amusing.

---
We had our staff holiday party this evening. It wasn't a normal holiday party. At the beginning to set the mood and tone, the principal chewed us out for this week's 4 1/2 benchmark test scores. The whole school didn't do so well. So we got shot in the leg with "Enjoy your break because when you come back, you're going to have to work harder. Get your remediation plans in order. Come January 5th, get ready to start teaching in other grades. Etc. You suck as teachers."

Okay, so maybe the last phrase wasn't really said, but still. It was a kill to the good ole festive morale!

After that, we started playing White Elephant/Pollyanna/Ain't it a Shame. Apparently we weren't peppy enough, and we got chastised for it! The principal chewed us out for not being excited! Ummm, reality check. We just were yelled at for doing a sucky job? And now we were expected to perform joyfully in a game? Ummm, reality check. Hot cold, hot cold. Crikey cheese!

---
Just two more days, and it's CHRISTMAS BREAK! I'm down to 19 children (from 24!!), and I'm pretty much guaranteed more after the break... BUT at least I'll have some time to recup. Let's just pray I get some more girls.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Soon-to-be published!

Nothing much has changed in the realm of classroom agendas. Students are still students. Days go by days.

However, I did receive some exciting news today in the mail from my favorite teacher magazine ever, The Mailbox. I'm getting one of my classroom ideas published! I'm not at liberty to explain the idea at the moment since now it's property of Mailbox... but I was rewarded a $20 gift certificate for their publications (and a complimentary issue of the magazine with my idea in it!). That's pretty exciting for me since a) my dream-but-not-realistic job of designing reproducibles all day at Mailbox is a link closer and b) my name will be in print! One step closer to becoming a published writer (okay, so it's not like a Newbery-worthy idea, but still!). Who knows what's in my authorial future? :)

Since it is past 10pm right now, I will leave a few photos of some recent second grade excitement in closing. Last Friday, we had our "magnetic" Repel Races. The students were instructed to make a car by securely attaching a teacher-given magnet somewhere on the vehicle. They then had to race them by using the principle of "repel" to move their cars. Needless to say, the kids loved it.



Next time, I will post photos from today's field trip to the Children's Museum.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Quarter-life Crisis?

Mr. R took me spelunking for my birthday, and before I left for the weekend, I gave three boys the task of finding out what "spelunking" meant. They were told if they brought back their research on Tuesday, then I'd give them a treat. Well, J, OF COURSE, brought it back with a website print-out of what spelunking was (his mom is a fellow educator). He was so estatic about it that I called his mom to thank her for letting him look it up. She thanked me for challenging him. :)

Currently, I am going through what I call my quarter-life crisis. It's no secret that this year has been very, very taxing on my sanity and mental health. I signed up to be a teacher-- not a babysitter or a nanny. If I wanted the latter, then I would have just applied at the local daycare center or put up an ad on Craigslist.

My passion is for teaching. Teaching knowledge and life skills. My number one priority should be academic success, not behavior management. On my first-of-the-year evaluation, the administration decided to dock me for behavior management without an footnote saying that, "She does have 17 ADHD-like boys and 4 girls in a classroom with no walls where students and teachers alike walk through/by all day." There was no docking last year on any evaluation. Hmm, so I didn't have an issue last year, but I do now? Explain the logic how you pedal backwards with experience, please. Where's my footnote? Give me my dang footnote!!!

It's only year two, and I feel like I have been teaching for 30 years. I just don't feel as pumped as I do during the summer when I teach gifted kids. At camp, I TEACH for hours on end because I am ABLE to. I don't have to worry about students getting up or talking during my lesson or shouting out inappropriate comments. It's hard to see the ah-ha moments when five students at a time can't remain seated to tell me a non-emergency (i.e., "He knocked my pencil off my desk.")

Well, we know that I'm stubborn enough to not announce to the world my doubts unless I have a potential solution to the problem. And this week that potential solution made an appearance.

Our school has now converted to an online gradebook this year. To make a unnecessary long story shorter, I found an error in the grade calculation formula. I don't know what exact formula it is, but students' Reading grades were showing up much lower than deserved (e.g., an N(eeds Improvement) turned into a U(nsatisfactory).). I talked to our TRT, Ms. B, and she took down a work order for it. Well, we got to talking and she asked me, "Why did you go into teaching?" I said, "Huh?" in response because at first, I was like why WOULDN'T I go into teaching.

"No, why didn't you go into technology? With all your tech background and you're quick with everything... it doesn't make sense."

I was honest and said that I didn't always like that most people that I had worked with in the past (especially grad school) were emotionally 2-D and it made it awkward to work with. I just don't know what to do. I know I have many skills and ideas, but I don't know how to execute any of them.

Well, she laughed and then gave me some epiphany-provoking advice. I could be a trainer for software and fly to different places to teach people. I could become a TRT.

A TRT (technology resource teacher). BAM! Epiphany struck. Why wouldn't I?? I would still be in the educational world. I would still indirectly help the students. I wouldn't have to worry about behavior management since I wouldn't have my own classroom. I would get to utilize my experience in another way. I would still get paid as a teacher, and quite possibly still get my Perkins loans forgiven for being in a low-income district. I would be a better wife when I get married next year because I wouldn't have all the stress and anxiety my students tend to rise up in me (it would be a different kind of stress). And last but not least, I would still get my summers off so I could still teach at gifted camp.

The timing was right. And out of the conversation with Ms. B (to whom I am indebted for such encouragement), I got a projector and laptop for my classroom (to build up my digital portfolio by having more technology use in the classroom). I've been trying to get those since last year!!

I'm praying that this is the solution to my quarter-life crisis because then at least I would have a destination/end in mind, and I could work towards that.

To end with a funny quote from R (who seems to be my random funny kid this year despite his slight speech impediment)... "I just know God can change my behavior!!" (This was probably the first time he didn't mention Storm Troopers or anything Star Wars-related. haha)

-- Miss Chelsea :)

The darnedest things.

Like a blossom in spring beckoned from its winter dormancy, the funny remarks are finally spilling out into my classroom.

J: Miss F, where do you get your earrings?
M: At the store.
J: Oh, my mom goes to the mall.
M: Oh, that's nice.
J: And it's a place called Secret. It has the word Secret in it.
M: [mental laughter] That's where she gets her jewelry?
J: Oh no! She gets her stockings and leggings there.

Well, you *and* I both know which store in the mall J was talking about. The randomness and completely innocent remark made me smile. I know his mom, so it makes it even funnier. I'll have to mention it to her when I speak with her next.

Kids are the World's Best Repeaters of All Things Spoken. You mention, say, reprimand, teach, or explain anything, and you can guarantee that you will hear it again from another pair of lips.

Over the past two weeks, I have heard more things that I have said from my second graders than I have actually spoken myself. Thank goodness that I don't worry at all what I say. I may say some quirky things (i.e., "We're going to breeze through this worksheet like a tornado!" or "NJ, put on your make-pretend seatbelt! Click click!"), but never any thing that would be deemed mean or inappropriate.

When Ms. R told me that I had the "nicest" kids last year, that had me thinking about the underlying lessons I'm teaching. I indirectly push character education; I know I do. I could teach them how to estimate sums, but that won't mean anything when they're in the real world. I did my own math and calculated that I see my students more than they see their parents during the school year. 8 hours out of the day, my second graders are under my influence. (The other 16 hours? About 2 hours spent at home with family unit. About 1 hour for dinner. About another 9 hours are all about sleep (we hope). About 1 hour for getting ready and eating breakfast. And the additional time... at a daycare or a before-school program.)

So, I'm bound and determined that for year two, my students will know how to treat other people. They will know how to apologize. They will know how to work together. And I'm really excited to see that it's already been happening.

Kids cheer themselves on when they work together. They are picking up random litter on the playground. They check to see if their fallen classmate is okay. They help each other clean up spilled crayons.

Yes, my students still drive me crazy with the spurts of misbehavior, but it does me proud and brightens my stressful day.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Over 200 papers to grade.

Before the weekend even begins, there will have been about 200 papers that either had been graded or will need grading by Monday. The thought is a bit exhausting. Thankfully, I have wonderful "You better not stress, Chelsea" supporters, and they have selflessly donated their time to help me. (Thank you, Miss EB, Mr. R, and Mrs. MS, for your time and love through Crayola markers and grading scales!)

It all started when we were told we couldn't give O's to students on their report cards even though our online gradebook program says otherwise. We presented our case about why we should, and so Mrs. F said, "Well, why aren't your gradebooks consistent with each other?"

So in attempt to plead and strengthen our case, we need to have everything tick-tock and updated by (was) Friday (now Tuesday). If this is what we need to do to be able to give our kids deserved O's, I don't mind. I've just been overcome with fatigue all week. I was at school for 11 hours today... I didn't leave until 8pm. Oof.

I write now because 1) to help me unwind and 2) I'll be in Richmond this weekend, visiting C.

We had a meeting with Mrs. F today as well. It ended on a positive note (with a few confidence-building compliments... why I got higher-leveled kids because I'm really creative to make it work... yay, but yikes! Pressure!). I told her about Psycho Parent Episode #7 that happened this morning. She got really defensive and was like, "I'm going to give her a call. It won't happen again." It felt nice to be defended like that because Psycho Parent definitely crossed the line.

Now let's fade to PP Episode #7...

Ten minutes before it was time to officially start the day, Psycho Parent came storming into the room, uninvited and unprepared. With her glittering politically-biased pin on her lapel, she meant business. Business that I did not have time or patience for. She demanded to know why her son frequently does not come home prepared to do his homework. He never had his work or his folder. I explained to her that I personally hand each student their homework folders every afternoon, but what happens in transit to home is not my responsibility. Well, she then went onto say that it needed to stop and something needed to be done. She stormed over to W's desk and started ranting about how untidy it was and "how often do they get to clean out their desks?!"

She whirled over to the mailboxes and started criticizing my organization, that *obviously* this was the problem. She was left speechless after her own son put his folder in the CORRECT mailbox. (Insert rubber brick to the head here.) At this time, the other children were chaotic because of this mother. I tried to push her along and said she needed to leave. She handed me a letter to be "at my leisure."

Ms. R came in by that point and was on a mission to get rid of the parent since it's one of her hot buttons. It bubbled down to my going to find Mrs. E to come down to exterminate her presence in my classroom.

When I returned, I tried to be as firm as possible with "I need to start the day. Now." She finally left. However, unfortunately, she left annoyance and frazzled structure.

To make sense of why she was walking around with the principal yesterday, this confirms why. From what Mrs. F insinuated, Psycho Parent has questioned my teaching abilities. Clearly, the principal threw it back in her face when she gave her a walk-through and showed her we are teaching, not just hanging out with seven year olds. :P

The moral of the story: I will not invite her again to sort the students' Saddlebags, and I need to be more blunt about her son's bad behavior. That's the main cause of his grades/etc.

To end on an amusing note...
This was a response I read on one of our reading quizzes. Always an interesting time.

The story was about a girl making a paper airplane.

The question was: "Retell the story using the words first, next, and last."

KH's response was: "listen to me waeds do you waet to listen to me yes yes yes !?"
[Translation: "Listen to me, words. Do you want to listen to me? Yes yes yes !?"

-- Miss Chelsea :)

The Year of Parents.

As of this coming Monday, I will have 22 students. And this is not due to moving for once. According to one parent, it is because I am quote, too timid, unquote. When the principal told me that I was losing a student due to my "timidity," I almost bursted out with an "are you kidding me?!" laugh. Thankfully, common sense and professionalism killed that desire on the spot.

On Friday, Mrs. F came into the computer lab as I was setting up my students and told me LS was going to be going to Ms. R's room on Monday. This was the first time I heard of this, so naturally I was confused. She explained that she met with the parent that morning, and the parent had concerns that I was too timid to tell her "like it is." She apparently didn't think looking and perusing through LS's work (clear and straightforward evidence) at conference day was bold enough.

Well, to tell this parent "like it is" would be to say, "You need to motivate your child at home because I am here to teach not to stand over her shoulder to make sure she does her work."

The principal went on to explain that I need to not be bullied by parents which I appreciated her acknowledging that. While I didn't directly feel bullied this time, I did feel overwhelmed by this parent's constant "concerns" (refer to Parent #3) over and over about her daughter. Yes, I would have concerns about my daughter, too, if she were struggling to adjust to second grade. But when it's a home problem, the teacher can't enter that arena. It's not her place.

To sum it up all nice and tidy, Mrs. F then said she told the parent that if she wanted a firmer hand, then she was going to get it. And this will be the first and last time to honor her request. With Ms. R as LS's teacher, she will get firmer all right. I hope overall this will be an enlightening experience for LS and the mother. I mean no illwill towards the two. The mom is nice and concerned, but she needs to realize that she has a major part in her daughter's education. It's not just up to the teacher to perform "miracles." And screaming at her daughter hasn't really been working obviously, so she needs to find another way.

I certainly appreciated Mrs. F sticking up for me, too. She said, "My teachers aren't mean and won't scream at the children. That is something you work with at home. You have a responsibility to motivate your child to do their work; my teachers are here to teach, not babysit."

So, yay, point for the principal!

I won't lie and say I'm not thrilled that I have one less (needy) student. Now I have an even number and that sooo works better for group activities. Unfortunately, the numbers fare lesser for my girls though. 5 girls. 17 boys.

------------

On a related note about parents, my dad's wife (CJ) has been really concerned over my brother's (CE) kindergarten progress and the parent-teacher relationship. First off, CE's teacher seems like an inconsiderate space cadet.

As a teacher, if you don't put down any grades on a progress report and solely put "Conference Needed" on the comments line, that insinuates that the student is not doing well. That's what this teacher did. It worked CJ into an emotional frenzy and thought it was due to her outspoken concern about the teacher losing CE's homework folder. I reassured her she wasn't turning into one of my Psycho Parents; she had every right to express concern over the teacher's lack of communication. There are other tidbits that aren't really necessary to this story, but it bubbled up all the same.

They had the conference and CE is doing fine, but needs some extra assistance with typical kindergarten stuff (which all kids need). The real thing they (unfortunately) got out of the conference was confirmation moreso that the teacher is a space cadet times two by leaving Dad and CJ waiting for 45 minutes OUTSIDE. She forgot them.

Dad has a temper, too, so whoa, I wouldn't want to be the teacher of those parents. And from all the other stories of this teacher, I wouldn't want my child in her classroom. (Side note-- I fear I will one day be one of those picky moms because I already know toooooo much about the education world and what happens. :P However, I know I will never reach the ranks of Psycho Parent. Thank Heavens! Whew.)

It's just really interesting to be an observer to both sides of the educational world. Parent-to-teacher and teacher-to-parent. At least I'll know how I would like to be when I become a parent someday.

All right, enough musings for now, but I will leave you with two adorable stories that made my heart all fuzzy.
1. Mr. R sent me flowers to school the other week, and all the kids were excited about it when I explained to them what a fiance was. After, M shouted out that he had a fiance, too. Then Z replied, "A chicken strip is my fiance!" I don't think they understood what a fiance was. :P

2. D's Army dad was coming home. She lives with her grandma and doesn't know her mom, so she was sooo excited all week and kept telling me about his coming home. She saw him last at the beginning of the year. Well, he came to school on Thursday to see her, and she was so happy to see her daddy. It warmed all my little heartstrings. :)

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Bring it on, Sparkle.

It's still a trial in progress with behavior in my class. We did have an excellent day earlier in the week, so I KNOW it can happen. I just wish they would do it more. Even though I despise Mondays, the children are relatively calm on those days. Not sure why...

As of yesterday morning, I had 24 students. As of yesterday afternoon, I had 23. One has moved to Chesapeake... which is kind of sad since she was 1) a girl and 2) a good student. Now I have 6 girls and 17 boys. Yikes.

It's official, GM is in love with me. The second day of school he drew a picture of me and him at the beach. He parrots a lot of what I say. And now I am the subject of his spelling homework sentences:
- I am hugging Miss F.
- I hugged Miss F.
- I am smiling at Miss F.
- I smiled at Miss F.

Mr. R is going to get jealous now that he has competition against a seven year old. ;)

Now, last year, we all know I had some problems with specific parents. It wouldn't be a thrilling school year without a Part Deux. I have just those parents.

Parent #1 - Concerned, but Not Concerned Enough to Do Anything About It
- This parent writes about a note per week, detailing their concern over their child's grades or behavior. They make requests for seat changes, minute-by-minute information regarding schedules, etc. Because the parent doesn't want to deal with educational matters, the concern is then placed unto a grandparent to be the point of contact... who comes to find out later had been writing the notes all along.

Parent #2 - Always on the Defensive, then Turns Offensive
- This parent is notified about their child's progress and the teacher's concern over the low grades. They make excuses for the lack of accountability on their child (i.e., working too much, not home all the time, etc.). Just when you thought the phone conversation was over, they accuse the teacher of not doing her job and not giving their child more opportunities for a third/fourth/fifth retest in any given subject. When the teacher explains that lessons have been taught at least four different time and evidence of this is in the weekly Saddlebag of their student's work, this parent finds more reasons why they are not the ones to blame. This parent is a teacher's worst headache.

Parent #3 - Passive Activist
- This parent is all verbally gungho about having their student succeed and demands to be notified of misbehavior and poor grades at the beginning of the year. When the teacher notifies them of either of the aforementioned, this parent agrees and thanks for the call. Over the next few days, the behavior still hasn't changed and it is back to square one to the cyclic procedure.

Parent #4 - A Child's First and Foremost Teacher
- This parent is a teacher's favorite. This parent sometimes comes into the classroom to help out with organizing, filing, or even bringing in treats. They may struggle to make ends meet, but they put the emphasis on education first. They do what they need to do to help their child reach their potential. If the means are available, they get a tutor. They also study their child's sent-home work with their child, even if it is for five minutes a day. They check their student's homework every night to keep their student accountable. They build a partnership with the teacher and know it is not a one-person show.

Well, that's about it. Miss EB and I are going to look for bridesmaid dresses today, I think. We'll see, we'll see... if I can get out of my pj's and motivate myself to get dressed. :P

-- Miss Chelsea :)