Not by an eight-year-old.

I may seem harsh in my reaction, but if I would not tolerate it from a grown man, I will not tolerate it from a young boy who has had repeated offenses and knows right from wrong.

I thought I had heard it all, but that was incorrect when on Thursday M decided to tell K a highly derogatory comment about my chest. Not only did he say it within my earshot, but he said it to another student who instantly recognized the inappropriateness and now has that disgusting phrase in his head.

This is not the first time M has given sexually-inappropriate comments. The first time he did so, it was directed to some of my little girls (there were only 4 of them, BACK OFF!). I brought his mother in for a conference to discuss this and said if it happens again, he will be written up and dealt with by the principal. It is not tolerated nor is it acceptable in any way.

He lied to me when I approached him. I was angry and felt very uncomfortable that a child would have the audacity to say something so vulgar to his TEACHER, an ADULT, and a WOMAN. It is an issue I do not take lightly, especially with someone who has said things before. I was angry before-- you are dealing with little girls' self esteems. By age eight, they have already been subjected to rude, nasty comments about their bodies. UNACCEPTABLE.

Girls already struggle with image, self-consciousness, and body security as they grow up. They do not need vapid-minded little boys treating them like sexual objects. I may be taking it to the extreme here since I'm glossing over this detail, but there a lot more other details that relate to this story, but do not pertain, so I won't go into them.

I became angry again because apparently the proverbial "smack on the hand" did NOTHING for him. He still thought it okay to say whatever he's heard before. At age eight, children know right from wrong very well. Now, if he were at all persuaded to say something like that, that's an entirely different issue. He was not, therefore, he acted on his own accord to get a rise out of his classmates.

M was written up to the office and brought BACK to my classroom. I was so peeved by this point because it made me so uncomfortable, thinking, "If he said it to me, what else will he say to my girls?" People will think what they want to think, no matter how inappropriate. But if something is uttered into the world and affects another human being in such a negative way, then it needs to be addressed and reprimanded.

I woke up the next morning still pretty angry and upset that I had to deal with this again. I felt bad for Mr. R because my entire morning commute phone conversation consisted of my venting and ranting about the lack of parenting today. (Thank you, Mr. R, for just being you. I don't know how you put up with my crankiness and soapbox moments.) My blood pressure was up, emotions were high. When I got to school, Mrs. MS and Ms. R immediately commanded I talk to the assistant principal about the problem.

Well, I did, but ended up speaking to the principal instead. At first, it was rocky. Again, high emotions and frustration. Point blank-- I did not feel comfortable with M in my room, and I don't want that to get me to the point of being unprofessional. I should not have to tolerate harassment of any kind. What kind of message does that send to children? If students have a right to be comfortable and safe, then so do teachers (according to our school guidance counselor). It was the first time I stood up for myself in front of my principal. I choose my battles wisely. When I get fired up and on my justice box, I want to be heard.

She didn't realize this wasn't his first offense. After that, she showed me the student code of conduct. Apparently, under that code, he should have been suspended for three days. That did not happen.

So what did? M was moved out of my classroom, effective immediately.

Was I surprised? Yes. Was I disappointed? No. Will this solve all problems? I desperately hope so. I hope this was a wakeup call for M's parents and a huge lesson for M.

I have a bit more respect and understanding for my principal from all of this. She took my concerns seriously and respected my thoughts and rights. I deeply appreciated that. A burden was lifted.

Most kids are empathetic... when I arrived back to my classroom, they knew I had been crying. E came up to me, hugged me, and rambled on, "Miss F, how was your last weekend??" Yes, it is Friday and the next day is Saturday. It touched my heart. One rotten apple does not mean the whole barrel has rotted.

Someone kept reminding me all day today the precious moments of childhood innocence. From finding "clues" at recess to teaching their friends yoga moves, I needed that breath of fresh air. I needed the reminder that there still is hope in the future generation.

-- Miss Chelsea

Little jigs.

When a parent tells you that their child hated going to school until this year, your heart does a little jig. When a parent tells you that you are a blessing to them and to their child, your heart goes into humble convulsions.

When talking to GM's mom due to some overly chatty behavior as of late (which attributes to the upcoming trip to see biological mom in the Southwest), it was a gentle affirmation that I know I'm supposed to be in this particular classroom this year. Despite the amounts of hair pulled out, pounding migraines, and overwhelming exhaustion, to know that you helped one child like school for the first time does make it all worthwhile.

I want to cry most days because April and June cannot come soon enough... but the tiny breath of encouragement is refreshing to keep me going for a bit longer.

I got another new student yesterday. Would you believe it that she's actually a girl?? NOT a boy! So rack up the 4 to a 5. :P

I have a phone interview for a pilot travel program through Discovery Education tonight at 8pm. I haven't said much about it on here because I didn't know what to expect. But to get a phone interview is pretty exciting even if all applicants get the opportunity. It would be after SIG, and I'd go to China if it's meant to be. Yes, yes, I'm intentionally keeping my excitement at bay... the very thought that I could be in the land of pandas gets me all giddy. For goodness sakes, when a panda showed up in a video yesterday, I started laughing because all my students shot their heads around to look at me every time that beloved creature popped up on the screen. They're excited that I'm excited. :) If they learn nothing else, they solely know my obsession for the "adorable" (as DW said today) panda. I digress-- yes, if I get to be in the land of my favorite animal ever, well, I don't know how I'd react! Only time will tell.

Complete uneducational tangent-- I was really disappointed to know that the Scrabble game for the Nintendo DS didn't come out today! I pre-ordered mine and have to wait until probably Friday to get it now! Lame, I say, lame. Probably a good thing since I wouldn't have time to really play it now anyway... doh.

-- Miss Chelsea :)

Prayer for not-wanting-to-be-ness.

Dear Lord,

Sometimes You show us things to enlighten us on what to do. Sometimes You show us things of what you should do. And most importantly, sometimes You show us things to enlighten us on what NOT to do. I truly feel that this whole school year has shown me what NOT to do as a parent. I'm taking Your hint quite clearly.

And what I have learned: stay-at-home moms have too much time on their hands. The irony? If it was at any way financially feasible, I, too, would love being a stay-at-home mom. Research has shown that children with a stay-at-home parent have better chances in school and life. So, of course, I want that valuable opportunity.

And if that is in my cards, Lord... if for any second I get the sudden urge to pester my child's teacher out of boredom, GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO! Make me knit a blanket or retile my bathroom! Don't let me sit idle, thinking, "I have nothing to do, da dum dum da. My son came home with a yellow face on his behavior chart. The substitute must have something against my child. Last time he got a yellow was when the same sub was there. I need to go complain and tell his teacher if she won't do something about it, then I will."

I know also not to always take my child's word as solid, unbreakable truth. There are always two sides to every story, and I must listen to both sides before passing any sort of judgment. Even though I will try to raise my future child to be honest and true, I will understand kids are kids and not always spotless in their decision-making. It's human nature, but kids are very transparent. You can pick out falsehood like an elephant in a small room.

If you have substantial evidence for something serious happening, then it's rather hard to disprove, especially if that evidence is an adult witness! If there is a victim involved, then that child's safety has to be addressed as well as the situation.

I do not want to be that mom who places the blame on everyone else. Mr. R and I both will take responsibility for our roles in rearing our child; we are his/her first and foremost teacher. What we do, he/she will do. If there is a continual problem that happened BEFORE arriving upon a certain school, then guess what? Not the teacher's blame. What was that? It's not the teacher's fault that a child has an attitude and a chip on its shoulder? Huh? Qu'est-ce que c'est?!

Lord, I would appreciate the serenity and grace to let my future child's teacher do her job and I'll do mine. (Hopefully this future child will not show up for quite a few years!) Give me the remembrance of these mentally-trying times as nudges for future reference. Let history not repeat itself and let it do its job in preventing catastrophic annoyance.

Amen.
-- Miss Chelsea :)

Highly qualified (for optimism).

After my heart stopped pounding, the adrenaline and confidence quickly usurped all ideas of anxiety. I stepped into Y's job fair this past Saturday, just praying desperately I would get encouraged. I was annoyed at first because my pre-registration through their website didn't put my name on the list, but I shook it off once I found out the same thing happened to about a million other people.

All I wanted to get out of the job fair was a surge of hope. That I was not stuck in one place for the rest of my teaching career. That other districts do function differently. That I have a chance.

I received that and more.

I first spoke with the directors of Instructional Technology. I went into complete "I'm valuable and am great at what I do!" mode which in any other circumstance I would completely suck at. I don't know what kicks in when I have my "interview goggles" on. It's a whole other Chelsea; she's brilliant, dedicated, creative, and good at what she does 24/7. I wish I could be more like her more often.

Until the General Assembly decides on how much each district is getting with the whole Stimulus Act, they won't know if the TRT position will be reopened next year. The women were impressed and said they wanted me to come in, but they were waiting for information. Need to know if the job will even be available. I gave my resume, showed off my portfolio, and asked a ton of questions about Y's technology department and resources.

Y has been the ONLY district around here (that I know of) that actually provides VIRTUAL classrooms. Not just for disciplinary problems, but for students who need an extra class for graduation. Way too cool. Way too impressed.

I was just going to leave the job fair since I had solely gone to speak with the IT department. Well, I was browsing the elementary schools there... and I came across two magnet schools. One was Fine Arts. The other Math, Science, and Technology.

Again, I was impressed. I didn't even think elementary magnet schools existed around here! I decided to speak with the principals/assistant principals of the schools to see what kind of things they're doing with technology at their schools. I talked with Fine Arts since I have that art background, and then I talked with M, S, and T. I almost bypassed the latter, too, because the line was really long.

I'm SOO glad I did.

That surge of hope I was desperate for? The MST school has GPS systems, iPods, podcasts, and more of these gadgets for the students to use! Because they get special funding, they are able to get these. The teachers are TOLD to integrate more technology while allowing flexibility in lessons. They also receive duty-free lunch. Once a month, they are given subs for half a day for PLANNING purposes!

What was that?

Fair and just teacher rights/relief?

That EXISTS?!

The AP and I chatted and chatted about what goes on at MST... and he was really enthusiastic when I said I was applying to be a TRT. (He reminded me of the type of friends I hung out with in college! Definitely the same kind of friendly, quirky personality.) As to not burn my bridges, I did say I was keeping my options open. My joy was doing cartwheels in my ribs the more he spoke. I asked practical and realistic quesitons, and he didn't sugarcoat them. I appreciated that. He told me that I should go get a screening interview at the job fair, or they wouldn't be able to invite me out to the school.

I started thinking about maybe broadening my job options again... maybe I could teach another year or two? In a different school? Just to get my foot in the door for the later goal of becoming a TRT? Would teaching in a magnet school change my whole perspective on teaching? Would it rejuvenate my exhausted managing/teaching?

The screening interview was more of a confidence booster. Summarily, the woman said I was "highly qualified" and told me to hang onto my "impressive" portfolio, that I'd be "great" for the TRT job.

Again, super excited. I desperately needed to hear that I was worthy. I was a leech on the compliment. When you've been told over and over what you're doing wrong and not right, things get low. It was so uplifting.

I came home and emailed the people I spoke with, thanking them for speaking to me and for being encouraging.

I received an immediate response from MST AP, and it wrapped up the wonderful optimism.

I remember you very well....I was reviewing your resume after dinner at the in-laws.
We will definitely keep you up to date on what we are doing. I'll know more of our timelines this week.
Enjoy this beautiful weather and the rest of your weekend.
-- AP

That's got to be promising, right??

-- Miss Chelsea :)