I am a cube.

I think the AC Post Office is fibbing to us. They say "no mail has come." But really, a camp of 200+ kids and staff, and not ONE piece of mail comes? I find that very hard to believe! One of my campers said her mother tracked a package, and it said it was delivered yesterday morning at 10:00am, but it is mysteriously not here. Auntie said she mailed me a package Priority Mail four days ago; that service is typically consistent, so what's the deal? College Mail, you disappoint! At our house meeting yesterday, at least all of us (campers et al.) bonded over the disgruntledness that is the AC Post Office. I'm hoping things arrive today.

I had to speak to a group of boys after class yesterday and give them special instructions for their homework since they have not been turning it in (basically had to show the counselor in Evening Tutorial their work and if they didn't finish it, then they had to spend dorm time doing it). I really hope today is different. I really don't like being disappointed in my students. When I see such potential in these kids and when I see it becoming wasted potential, I get pretty disappointed. We are given our lives to live up to our potential... and when someone has a talent and doesn't invest themselves in it, I just want to shake him/her and say, "Don't you see what you can offer the world?!?!" A teacher can only encourage so much until it becomes the student's personal responsibility to do something about it.

There are few "pinnacle passions" for me where I can get fired up in less than two seconds: service and teaching. The moment I get into teaching or service mode, I'm gone. All issues of confidence, worry, and self-consciousness fly out the window; they no longer apply when I'm in these zones. I don't get as tired either... but this high school class is tiring for me. I unfortunately drag my feet. My confidence wavers. Doubt pecks at the fringe. Worry nags and wonders how the final evaluations will be for this class. I feel like a cubed block trying to be shoved into triangular hole; it's painful and slightly frustrating.

If nothing else, this is finite and permanent confirmation that I am not meant to "formally" teach high school kids. I just hope my students and I can take something out of this in the end... no moment can never be wasted in the grand scheme of things.

- Miss Chelsea :)