Once upon a time...

... there lived a young woman who loved children, pandas, and cereal. She wanted to change the world one student at a time and to foster lifelong learners... because that's just what damsels like to do. She swore she would never make a child grow up too fast since that is what happened to this young woman, too. She would be protector of students' rights and dreamed of finding a dashing gentleman with the same ideals of wanting to help others, standing up for the little, and eating chocolate chip cookies when necessary.

But, one day, a scaly, fire-breathing dragon stormed into town, squashing the base-10 blocks and the ever-so popular Matter Matters game (cleverly thought up by our heroine). Children shrieked and scattered, but our heroine stood tall, brandishing her purple Crayola marker and perfected teacher stare.

"Never will you destroy these young minds! They need life in their education! Be gone!" she cried with her palm waving in the monster's face.

The dragon roared and hissed. "FUN!? I do not like this FUN! I have contracts to keep and appearances to make! Things to destroy!"

"You will have to find somewhere else to meet your requirements! They are not welcomed here, and I shall banish you with... with..."

From out of some misty fog yonder, a dashing gentleman (just the very one that we hoped for!) rode onto the scene on a dappled-gray horse named Specks. The horse neighed and whinnied, letting its mane ruffle in the wind. It was quite the dramatic entrance. Moreso for the pony.

"What goes on here?" he exclaimed after giving the trademark cool kid nod and wink to the young woman.

"This dragon threatens these children's love for school and all things educational!"

"WHAT! That cannot be done!" he yelled and pulled a large soccer whistle out of his saddlebag.

The dragon roared and stomped on some more money games and missing addends flashcards. "Educational FUN is bad!!" The dragon was quite testy now and becoming a big headache for our heroine.

"You know what, you're giving me a headache with your ranting, dragon. Make it easy on yourself and just go weave on a loom or something."

This really ticked off the dragon and, with one fell swoop, snatched up the damsel in its grimy claws. Smoke seeping out of its fiery nostrils. "What did you say to me?! I can squeeze you to pieces!! You'll never have FUN again, now will you!?"

Now the gentleman gasped in horror at the monstrosity, and since his lady friend was in distress, knew he had to resort to the ultimate secret weapon. He blew the whistle and hollered...

"DAMSEL IS IN TROUBLE, KIDS!! She's in trouble!! It's Dragon Playtime!! Let's see who can measure its length first!!"

Out of the woodworks, kids of seven and eight years of age poured into the streets and flooded the dragon's feet. They swarmed the dragon, spinning yarn, measuring tapes, and other educational math tools around and around. The dragon huffed and puffed, waving its smoky arms (with damsel in tact, of course, causing her to not only have a headache, but a little bit of a stomachache).

Kids were squealing with delight as they whipped their tapes and tools around. A few scrambled up the dragon's belly and started a little rumble with each other because of someone moving their measuring tape two inches off. The gentleman corralled the oncoming giggling children with determination. Within ten minutes, the dragon was soon overtaken by the immensity of children and their fun, and its body soared to the ground.

The dragon's claws ripped through the air, trying to grasp onto anything... and the damsel went sailing down towards the sea of youth. The gentleman leapt onto his mighty steed and galloped towards the falling damsel. Into his arms, she landed with perfect ease and grace.

"The children! How will we ever know who got the correct measurement!?" the damsel cried.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn," he grinned and gave her a dreamy rated-G smooch.

The children cheered as they played on the dragon's legs and used its tummy as a Moon Bounce. One little boy ran up to the damsel and gentleman, waving his torn measuring tape in the air, "I want to learn forever, Miss Damsel and Mr. Gentleman! Learning is fun!"

They smiled at each other, pleased at their conquest. No dragon would ever ruin the children's education again. As soon as all the children were picked up by their parents, the two rode off into the dusky sunset, awaiting their next adventure... but until then, they lived happily ever after.

The End.

By Miss Chelsea :)

Money, money, money.

Even though I rock at Skee Ball, going to Chuck E. Cheese's for a fundraiser night right after school did not set me running. The kids who were able to attend had fun, but I kept thinking about those kids who couldn't afford it?? I had a real problem with the whole CEC idea (CFA would have been a better choice... and that's not just a biased opinion! It's more affordable for those families with multiple kids or stretchy pockets). You want parents to go spend at least $30 in food and tokens, yet we can't even ask them to give our classroom a box of tissues or hand sanitizer?? Where's the justice in that?

Last night, I saw 4 of my students at CEC (and 3 more went after I left)... out of 18. That's not a big representation. You should have seen the forlorn looks on some of the children who didn't go, and it broke my heart... and knowing a bit of their home lives, I know why.

Then we flip to the other side of the coin... parents who buy their children ridiculous name brand clothing and jewelry and give them snack money EVERY DAY (roughly 85 cents), but won't send in $1.25 for a special Powhatan Indian in-school field trip (with replica artifacts!!) from the Jamestown settlement that is ALL about our upcoming Benchmark exams. Where are the priorities??

Now, I do have one student (the newest one) for whom I will have no problem paying... R would be the only one though because she's in a foster home right now. (She had some behavior problems today which drove me NUTS!!) There are a few others that I might... but then there are those who... no.

Ms. T was saying that some of her parents already told her that they weren't sending in money because "why should they? It's in school." UGH! Hello, Jamestown settlement people are coming to show your kids some amazing things! They need to keep the program open... and it's ONLY one dollar and twenty-five cents-- that barely covers their gas and it's CHEAPER than an actual field trip! If it were $5, then I wouldn't have organized this-- that would be a bit much for a presentation! I'm trying very hard not to be judgmental, but when I hear comments like that, I get so peeved because they don't see how this will leave a lasting impression from something so simple. The kids get to touch Powhatan weapons, clothing, etc... they get to SEE it!

I think this summer I'm going to look into writing grants to fund some of the stuff I want my class to have... but then again, I need to use the grant I already earned... eek, it's almost spring, too. I have NO idea where to begin for gardening supplies.

Dangit!! I need to get that list together asap for the principal.

But first... need to go finish the Reading Remediation paperwork... oh, the fun! ... but I really want to go to sleep now... my eyes hurt. Hmm... I may have to give into the snooze temptation...
- Miss Chelsea :)

Fifteen eyes.

Thank goodness for MLK Jr. Day... three day weekend!!

I forgot to write a quote from a week or so ago that definitely needs documenting. It seems the most random funny stuff comes from students who aren't even in my class. They're in another second grade class... and they seem to always mention things that make me believe that they are listening in on my class and not their own. haha

Okay, readers, put on your imagination caps and imagine a really thick redneck accent, a really fair-skinned blonde boy with slightly protruding teeth... and you've got one of the funniest and sweetest boys ever in Ms. T's class. This is the same kid who at the very beginning of the year when the beetles were outside said "It's a HUMAN BEETLE!!"

"Yes, K?"
"Miss F, I just love your clothes! I can't remember what they're called though..."
"?? ... Oh, my capris??"
"Yes! I just love them! So good."
"Well, thank you, K. I appreciate that."
"You're welcome. [sagely nod]"

Another episode happened on Friday. K always raises his hand. Even when he's right in front of me. But when he raises that hand, I know he has something profound to say.

Turn your imagination caps onto the scene of Ms. T's class standing in line, waiting to return to their classroom. K shoots up his hand...

"Yes, K?"
"Miss F, these boys are saying not nice stuff about me. And I know!"
"??"
"I know because I've got big ears [[and yes, readers, he does]] and two eyes on the back of my head!"
[[Pardon this other interruption, but this is a clear case of "I've been listening to Miss F's class!"]]
"K, we must be twins! So do I! Fifteen of them!"
"[another sagely nod]"

Again, I live for these moments. I really hope one day when I'm a mother that I'll have hilarious kids like these. They really do make the world go 'round.

- Miss Chelsea :)

P.S. Here's a good news article on a study about personalities. I completely agree with it. I see it in my own students.

Don't scare the Verbs!

Nothing too big happened this week, except a little heated mis-agreement with the principal. We're slightly under pressure at the moment because the third graders aren't performing how people want them to. So... of course, it's now on the backs of us because we were the ones who "prepared" them. Rather annoying and quite frustrating. There are further more passionate details but I'd prefer not to plague my musings with them. It was a sour moment in the week, and now it's the weekend!

I did a "Verb Safari" today for Fun Friday (again, aka Frantic Friday). The kids LOVED it! I set the scene that we were in the C-1 Jungle with some very rare creatures... these creatures were called the "Verb Animals" and they were camouflaged like striped index cards. If they found one of these and it had a verb on its tummy then they had to write it down on their Safari Checklist. Oooh, I strictly enforced the two important rules, too.

1. Don't SCARE the Verbs! Tiptoe and whisper.
2. Put the Verbs back in their habitats!

The consequence was they'd get sent back to sit on the Safari Grass for the rest of the Hunt. These two kids from Mrs. A's class were adorable... they literally tiptoed everywhere. Pretty cute.

T and T's typical "I want to go home with you, Miss F" statement is kind of making me worry. They both say it a lot and are generally clingy kids... and it makes me wonder what's going on at home. As much as both Ts drive me up the WALL with their misbehavior, I can't help but think about it... even though for my own sanity, I try to repress it to some extent.

SOAPBOX MOMENT:
I'm kinda ticked at PPS in general because of all these "surprise" requirements they want me to do. I saved ALL the emails I got from HR before I accepted the offer because I had a feeling something might be up. Once they got me well and secured, they decided to say, "Oh, BTW, you need to do X, Y, and Z for VA licensure and for our district requirements." Uhhh, no, PPS, you CONFIRMED to me that I didn't need to do anything beyond my out-of-state certification and Praxis II. How convenient now that I inconveniently need to take more tests, create more portfolios, and give up my left kidney.

The only possibly-reassuring thing is that I really don't see myself in Virginia in 5 years... and that's the deadline for some of the requirements. QUIT SUCKING MONEY OUT OF ME, DEPTS. OF EDUCATION!! I have none!! I already paid nearly $900 just to get initial certification!! I have a lot of student debt!! I need a haircut!!

Perhaps I should boycott. Tell them that I'll take their tests if they pay one month of my student loans. ha! See how they like it.

Well, I'm moving my stuff out of storage tomorrow. I'm REALLY excited (and Feb. 1st can't come soon enough!). One more step closer to officially being moved in to my new beautiful condo. C's parents are driving down from Richmond to help... and Miss EB and Miss P will be helping as well. Thankfully, C's dad is coming because I have NO upper body strength whatsoever... so to try to carry a bookcase by myself would be quite the disaster. And I would have no more bookcase.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Teacher turned prophet.

I've had to explain many life lessons in my class. If they parrot me enough on how I tell someone to sit or how someone's behavior is not cute, then if I drum in these life lessons, surely they will parrot those as well. At least I hope??

We have been having a problem lately with people needing to apologize. Kids will say nasty things to each other, the offendees will tell me, the offenders will get stubborn. Neverending cycle.

So, when it happened on Friday, I stopped the class and gave Miss Chelsea's Life Lesson #12: "How to Apologize." It was received with nods and actual attentive eyes. And like usual, kids say the darnest things.

Me: "When you apologize to someone, you look them in the eyes, say sorry, and WHY you're sorry. If you JUST say sorry, then you could be apologizing that the sky is blue. [Insert kids' murmuring questions "why would you apologize for the sky?!"] And that's just not fair to the person you offended. If they accept your apology, then shake their hand to show friendship and sincerity."
T: "Miss F, did God tell you that?"
Me: "Well, I've had a lot of experience with apologies."
T: "I think God did. I'm going to ask [or talk to?] God."

So add on "prophet" to the many hats that I wear during the week. Never thought that would come up in public school.

- Miss Chelsea :)

The many types of liquids.

Since we're completing our "magnets" unit, I introduced "matter" and had students take out their notebooks to create a little web. We named "liquid, solid, and gas"... which apparently was a mere review from first grade.

Me: "What's an example of a liquid, boys and girls?"
M: "Juice!"
D: "Water!"
T: "Soda!"
Me: "Very good! Let's get one more example to write in our web. A, what is another liquid?"
A: "Beer!"

I wanted to laugh and go "what the"!? But every student went "OoOoOOOooooooo" and got large eyes, looking to him, looking to me... just waiting to see if there was going to be a scolding. Probably much to their surprise, I calmly told him, yes, it was a liquid but we won't put grownup stuff on our lists. We smiled, the tension dissipated, and they went merrily to filling out more examples.

The next moment was when we got to the "gas" category. You can imagine what a bunch of 7-8 year olds gave as an example. Try quieting them after that. :P

- Miss Chelsea :)

Dear Parents,

This is just a friendly note from your local teacher. My message is simple and straightforward. I give no sugar-coated statements or down-the-back-alley comments. My message simply bears the connotation of hope for providing your child with a smooth education. So without further ado...

BE NICE TO YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER!

Don't insult her teaching methods. If you feel you can come into the classroom and teach 17 children, nearly half of which are struggling learners and well below grade level, while instructing all 17 in life lessons that you're clearly not teaching at home, then PLEASE do come in and take my job. Actually, let me observe so I can become a better teacher. Yes, that would be wonderfully informative and enlightening.

Also, I really advise not insulting the teacher because it clearly shows why your child is a misfit and won't listen. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... and that apple is a sour one to have in the classroom barrel. It's not appreciated because teachers have to deal with it 180 days of the year. Quite frankly, you are a contributor to the misery that plagues classrooms. How you treat others is how your child will treat authority and his/her peers. You are your child's most influential role model.

Choose your battles. Speak up when things are really important and really affect your child. Form a partnership with your child's teacher.

If you show that you are willing to work with the teacher and choose your words carefully and politely, the teacher WILL be more than happy to go the extra mile to ensure absolute success with your child. No matter how equal and fair teachers try to be, it's human nature to respond kindly to kindness.

If your goal is to break the enthusiastic spirit of a new teacher, then you will have killed a valuable resource. New teachers are in education to change lives with no jaded bitterness. We are not paid much, and your difficult attitude and backhanded remarks surely are not worth the pay. Again, I reiterate, NOT WORTH IT.

So, I hope that you take this into consideration when you write your notes and speak your words. Who do you really want to make it harder on? The teacher or your child? Honestly, they go hand in hand.

Have a wonderful day and may all your weekends be blissful and educational!

With love,
Miss Chelsea

Laryngitis: A Teacher's Worst Enemy.

When it looked like things couldn't get worse, they did. The past 3 days have been the most frustrating days of my teaching life. I have a new appreciation and sympathy for those unable to communicate at all with others. I can't imagine being like that all the time... the first day I cried because no one could understand me. To not be able to speak when you're supposed to maintain some sort of order with 17 children right before Christmas Break is like finding out you are being unjustly admitted to a place with a strait jacket and padded walls.

How did it happen? Well, because I was getting over a sickness, it apparently wanted to make things worse. At recess on Tuesday, K decided it was a smart choice to continually hit another student on the playground for no good reason at all. I tried to use my gut to project my voice, but when you're across a playground and there is hitting going on, you just do what you have to do. I was screaming for K to get over to me, and of course, all week he drove me up the wall with his senseless crying, so I was already at my wits' end with him.

An hour after this happened, my voice was gone and a goose took residence in my throat. Body=good. Voice=bad.

We had a field trip on Wednesday, and thank goodness, I had a parent volunteer. She at least helped corral the kids. Thank all that is good that we had Christmas movies the last two days. I would have called in sick otherwise.

My kids were as sweet as they could be right before a vacation. I made out in student gifts, too. (Funny enough, I received gifts from the already-great students... not my troubling ones. EXCEPT DS. He gave me a nice Yankee Candle Christmas set.) Gift cards to Olive Garden and B&N... are divine. AND I received my very first "Best Teacher" paraphernalia from G. It's a keychain with an apple that says "Best Teacher" and a pencil. Of course, it's on my keychain now, especially because it is my very first student-given teacher knickknack. :)

NOTE TO PARENTS:
As unbiased/objective/equal as teachers try really hard to be, if you show your appreciation for them (i.e., with a note, card, gift, etc), we unknowingly create a little soft spot for your child, and when they have difficulty learning a new skill, we ARE ever so slightly more patient with them because we know their parents support and respect our positions. IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE! ... we will never outwardly admit it because we do want to be equally fair to ALL kids. But heck, it's the truth. Show the love to your kids' teachers. I guarantee when something rough happens, they will be a lot more willing to work with you. :)
[This ends our service announcement.]

So, the final counts are in for the first half of the year...
... the times I've been called Mom : 19
... the times I've been called Grandma : 1
... the times T has said he wants to live with me : 4
... the times K has cried over something ridiculous : 25
... the times I had to tell TA to sit down : ~100
... the times I was called beautiful by my kids (ultimate heart-toucher) : ~10
... the times I had to say 4+0=4 : 5
... the times DS stood next to me to lean his head on my side : 6
... the times I had to hear questions about eating astronaut ice cream : 15
... and finally, the times I received student drawings of random things : 27

As I conclude this, I give up many cheers and hoots that I am now on Winter Break. It's delicious bliss, and I will bask in it for the next two weeks... even though I've already started thinking about fun things to do when we go back.... DOH!

I will be away in California until New Year's Eve, so I hope that all goes well. I get to see Boston friends, meet M, spend Christmas with LK and M&M, eat at Souplantation (only the best place ever)... and see my pandas! It just has to go well.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Worst Week.

Sorry to say, but this was the worst week. The one highlight happened on Monday.

Q, a student whom I rarely see from Mrs. A's class, walked up to me in the morning and held out a purple piece of folded paper. "Oh, what's this, Q?" I asked. He replied, "It's a birthday card." Not even thinking anything involving me, I asked, "For who?" He didn't say anything and so I just opened it. And this is what it said:

Dear Mrs. F. Happy belated birthday Mrs. F. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, so here it is rite now. Happy belated birthday Mrs. F.
Love, Q

There are many funny parts to this story. 1) My birthday was a month ago. 2) I was thought about by a student not even in my class over the weekend. 3) The card's words have all the correct meanings (i.e., belated), so he must have gotten some adult advice somewhere in the card-making process. 4) Still doesn't realize I'm not a Mrs.

I told him thanks and gave him a hug, and he looked all pleased with himself. It definitely made my day/week. Most hilarious thing ever.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Aside from being a teacher, life has been pretty down lately. A new development is that I've also been getting daily migraines (dull, but annoying). After talking to a few other teachers, apparently headaches/migraines are part of the educator territory. Greeeeeaaat. Something to really look forward to! ...

I'm really hoping next school year will be a lot more organized... I haven't had time to write out Christmas cards (which probably won't happen now), wrap presents, send off out-of-state gifts, or anything. Everything will arrive late. :( I feel stressed just thinking about it. I literally can't cut anything out of my current teaching schedule to get this holiday stuff done.

AND I also have to start buying garden stuff for the grant I earned. I'm freaking out ever so slightly. I told them I would do it over winter break.

Progress reports are due on Wednesday, and knowing the current school administration, they will want to see them tomorrow... so guess what I'm doing today? Yeah.

Can't wait for Christmas. I need the break desperately.

- Miss Chelsea :S

You know it's been a long week when...

... you hesitate for even a MILLI-SECOND over whether or not pizza is magnetic. Yeah. It was pretty sad, but it gave the other teachers and me a good laugh.

1. On Thursday, I was having my kids clean out their desks, get packed up, and clean the floors. Mrs. W. comes down the hallway and starts talking about something. (She likes to call me by my last name, so from here on out, "F" is me.) Then she blurts out, "Look at F! She's like the Lady in the Shoe with tons of kids! Oh, F, when you find yourself a husband, you're going to have 4 to 5 kids, I just know it. Mrs. G! Come look at F! She's gonna have her some 4-5 kids. She got them doing this and that. Woooo, multi-tasking." Mrs. W. pretty much cracks me up with her energy. She has a TON of it. I don't know where it comes from. This story was told to about 3 more people the rest of the workday by Mrs. W. Woe is me that I'm the sole white girl in Pod C and turn red very easily. Every time.

2. Trying to teach regrouping is the PITS. I hate it. I don't know how my teacher taught me it... more than half of the class gets it. There are just 4 students who need more help... but AH! Monday was terrible. I think I'm going to pull those students aside and reteach it on Monday... I hope that will work... they need to learn that you cannot just ALWAYS put a 1 above the tens place; sometimes you don't need to regroup!

A thing that did help with the rest was that "Mr. Ones doesn't like to have more than 9 people in his house... he's cranky and selfish. So if you have more than 9 visitors, you have to send 10 of them over to Mr. Tens' house where there is more room." Mrs. A. told me that one. :)

3. On a personal note-- Miss EB and I found a place to live for the end of January!! It's a BEAUTIFUL condo with a gorgeous room; it's pretty much everything I wanted in a home. The best part--- I'll be so proud to have visitors over now! There's plenty of room for people to stay over, plenty of room for my bookcase (yes, it did factor in!), etc. It floors me how much space we'll be getting and it's a cheaper rent than what I paid in Boston. The landlady even wants to get rid of her full-sized guest bed for free! It's COMFY and new. Okay, so I'm a strange one who gets excited about a comfy bed... but that saves me about $600. Now that I have a job, I refuse to sacrifice my sleep anymore for old-bent-up mattresses.

Anyway, great location, great amenities. We'd be really dumb not to take up the offer.

4. My goldfish is going to have to wait until after the move. I still never got the filter to work, so I'm taking the whole thing back to the store. Annoying to have to take it all down, but it's needed at the moment.

5. And finally, it's Miss EB's birthday today... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Caliente!

- Miss Chelsea :)

Gobble gobble.

Last week was an "easy" week since we only had 2 full days. I love this time of year; holidays seem more prevalent, and that means a bit more time off to recuperate from the beginning of the school year. My body has finally told me that it's not happy with the long hours. I've actually been able to sleep in on this Thanksgiving Break, and it's quite happy. I still reach my crashing point around 9:45-10pm. I'm getting old!

So two things.

1. Miss Chelsea's Life Lesson #32-- If there is a problem, you need to take responsibility to help find a solution.

My kids were pretty bad on Tuesday. They earned three strikes. When they earn three strikes, that means no recess. (Well, I still technically (by law) HAVE to take them to recess, but they don't know that.) I went into my soapbox and asked them why I should let them go out to recess. (I always tell them "I want to know why") Some kids gave some good points and arguments only after D volunteered first. There were some bad ones, too, and I told them that. One kid said that they weren't all bad. Me: "Then who's going to admit that they were bad?" The kid: "No one." Me: "Exactly."

I said, "Okay, good arguments. But I want a solution."

They were confused at first, but then the solutions started rolling in. They suggested the bad kids stand on the wall, the whole class stand on the wall, put our heads down until the teacher says, etc.

I WILL get my kids to think about their actions and the consequences from which they come. That's a general stereotypical problem in low-income areas. They do things just to do them, and it's a vicious cycle that happens over and over. According to a study on poverty (that we read about in our staff-development meeting a few months ago), not many break that cycle because it's all they've ever known. It's comfortable.

Well, listen up, children of the CL area, Miss Chelsea is going to get you to think beyond your capabilities and potential. Better wisen up to some change!

2. Chalk another one up for T. (I have a conference with her Mom on Monday). During morning business on Friday, T decided it was a good idea to say really LOUDLY, "DDDDDDDD***MMMMMNNNN!" The students got dead silent. Ms. T whipped her head around the corner. It didn't register with me until a moment later. I was SHOCKED. How could she say that IN CLASS?? I made her apologize to the class for her inappropriate language, and then wrote up a referral. Just one more thing to add to her disrespectful documentation.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Future goldfish owner.

All last week was benchmark testing (which signifies the end of the first nine weeks). Benchmark testing is the most exhausting experience... ever. Imagine a classroom of 17 children without a break, without a recess, without a real schedule for 3 days straight, and include a teacher without a break, recess, or real schedule. Yeah, all heck enjoys breaking loose. Definitely crashed each day. This coming week is also going to be insane... mainly due to not having real lesson plans because of remediation from the benchmark tests. If any student made a score under 75%, then they have to be remediated. JOOOY!

I've had to call two parents to schedule conferences either for academic or behavior reasons. T still is being disrespectful, therefore received an N (Needs Improvement) on her report card. Her mom didn't like that too much, but she wants to work with us (other teachers did bring to my attention their concerns for T as well).

B's parents also came in wondering why B didn't have any O's (Outstanding) on her report card. I had to tell them that it was "an administrative decision to not give any students O's this grading period." The decision bothers me (some kids deserve an O in some areas!!), but what can I do?

On a non-teacher note, I bought a 10-gallon fish tank today. I'm pretty excited about it since I assembled and decorated inside of it myself; my creative outlet has been fulfilled. I've been wanting a goldfish for awhile, and so I used some birthday money to get it setup. I haven't picked up the fish yet from Pet Paradise (best pet store ever)... have to give the tank 24-hours first. The filter isn't filtering, so I have to call customer support about that tomorrow...

This weekend was really great since the S's threw me a surprise birthday gathering at good ole Chick-fil-A. It was pretty hilarious, therefore, it was perfect. It meant a lot to me to have my local friends there. Overall, good times.

Gosh, I didn't get to any other life stuff I wanted to get done this weekend... I need to go start packing/etc. before I head up to PA for Thanksgiving. Loooots to do.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Highlights.

1. Felt pretty junky all week, threw a pity party for myself, came down with a sinus infection, and left school early on Thursday to get some antibiotics. Good news: Doctor put me on strong meds, and I'm on the road to recovery. Also went to go get that flu shot on Tuesday... my arm is STILL sore after 3 days.

2. Wednesday's morning announcements were the most hilarious thing all week. The 4th grader who sang the national anthem was so off-key and tone-deaf that it was the cutest thing in the world. He was SO proud of himself being on the announcements. It gave all the teachers a chuckle.

3. T is getting to the point of bad-bad behavior. It gets worse everyday until I laid the proverbial smackdown of "we need to talk. Your behavior is getting very unacceptable, and it won't be tolerated ever" in front of the other students. I don't like reprimanding students in front of the other students... but I seriously think he's making poor behavior choices for attention. BAH! Ain't happenin' in my class!

4. Three-day weekend, and I'm going to Boston to see my gals tomorrow morning (hence the update now instead of later).

5. I've been wanting to rewatch "When Harry Met Sally" and so I did tonight... and yeah, okay, Miss EB, you were right. I am Sally--- it's eeriely weird. (But just for the record, I'm not THAT extreme with food ordering!!) :( Now I just have to hope there's a Harry out there who can love all my quirks.

6. Kids have a crazy memory. How they remembered that my birthday is the 16th is BEYOND me. A is giving a countdown, and I keep getting shocked each time because I can't believe it's so soon.

7. We took school pictures today. Let me get on my soapbox for a moment:

I don't like Lifetouch. I don't like their 3/4 profile they make you do. Listen, photogs, maybe I WANT shadows on my face. I don't need my cheeks to look like I'm storing away acorns for winter! Maybe I want the full head-on shot; I'm pale anyway, let the light hit my face! It's better than having Goodyear Blimps protruding from the left side of my face. I'm also pretty sure that my shirt was doing a number with its buttons because I had to "fix" them afterwards. I would hope they would tell me if my clothing was "misbehaving." Yeah, 1st Year Teacher Photo!!! It should totally go in Glamour... or maybe Vogue. Definitely the latter. Also definitely a memory to store away in the cherished ones. :P

All right. Bed time after packing.
- Miss Chelsea :)

Illness Count-Up : 2.

On Friday, I came down with Cold #2 of the school year. On the advice of Mrs. S, I'm getting a flu shot on Tuesday (pending if I'm well enough by then... if not, I don't think they'll let me get one). Tuesday is a Teacher Work Day, so hopefully that'll work out. I'm feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday... my throat is protesting against me right now, and my voice is a million octaves below. I sound a little too masculine for my liking. I feel like I could wear a ratty white tank top and ask for a canned alcoholic beverage, meatball sub, and/or pork rinds. Or at least that would be the image if I heard myself on the phone. GROSS.

Since I've been lying in my death bed all of Saturday, I needed to feel somewhat productive (I promised I slept, EB!!!), so I worked on new book box work. I'm having my kids become better experts at maps. They'll have 5 map-related tasks to do, and once they complete them, they can choose another map-related game to play (puzzle or computer game). I'm actually pretty proud of this set because I downloaded maps from Busch Gardens and the Norfolk Botanical Garden to use... so they're practical and functional. I have a feeling that they won't get past Task #3 (the Busch Gardens map) due to its probability of being the favorite.

I received a B&N gift card from the Fs for Halloween... and I'm antsy to buy a book... but not sure which one yet. Can't decide if I want a "me" book or a "kid" book. On a non-teacher-related note, Rhett Butler's People is coming out on Tuesday... and my curiosity may get the best of me. Swoon. Pass me my parasol, mint julep, and fried okra, please.

I can't believe it's November. 12 more days until my birthday. 18 more days until Thanksgiving. 51 more days until Christmas. The year has zoomed by, and so much has happened and is happening, mainly in the classroom avec a-ha moments.

As silly as it sounds, J had an a-ha moment during a science lesson, and he said the straightforward correct answer. I was SO PROUD of him. See, the thing is that he normally goes into some background story as his answer and about 90% of the time, it's wrong (i.e., "J, what makes a team?" "Well, my uncle was on a basketball team and you have to practice a lot.") But this time he straight-up told me what "weathering" is in its correct terminology, and he was right!

Those are the moments I live for.

I wish I could say I have a happening social life outside of school right now, but that'd be lying. I've been staying late due to the 1st nine weeks ending this week, so benchmark tests and report cards are next week... lots of study guides to be copied. In the after school time, I learn a lot about my fellow CP employees. Mrs. W got a new hairstyle (which I told her it's "sexy sophisticated"--- we have a LOT of funny little jokes), so she enlightened Miss P and I on the hair care do's and don'ts of weave, tracts, and all things kinky and/or relaxed hair. Also, I will say that I've learned a little bit too much about menopause, and it's frightening. I better have a long fulfilling life before that happens to me; that's all I'm sayin'. Ms. T's son has taken up my classroom as his after-school hangout. It's pretty funny because he'll try to teach me his computer game he plays. It's in Japanese.

Since the time has gone back an hour (YAY), I need to get extra sleep. If I don't, I'm going to convince my students that not only do I have four eyes, but I also have a frog residing in my throat that will jump out if kids don't stay in their seats.

- Miss Chelsea :)

High School Musical?

I can't believe nine weeks of school will have gone by on November 13th. It's really flown by... luckily, it's in the good way.

Today was a slightly rough one. I woke up with a burdening sense of loneliness, and it was hard to shake off since it's been building over the past week. Being around my students didn't really help (though A gave me a really sweet note "I like you as my tchaer [sic] Miss F" with a picture of me having an appendage growing out of my head which is supposed to be my hair in a ponytail avec hairclip)and the overwhelming heat in the building was not fun.

I know I'm always more reflective around my birthday... and I think it's affected me more this year because I feel like it'll be a repeat of my first birthday in Boston. I don't want that to ever be repeated. It was miserable. Here at home, my family just aren't big birthday people... but I've been spoiled while at college and grad school, my friends and I are...

I'll deal. At least I get to go up to Beantown a week before to be with C and C for Veteran's Day weekend.

Trying to teach fact families is like pulling at each little hair on your head. It's kinda annoying. If a kid can't add, then they surely ain't gonna get what a fact family is. 8+8 is 16. Not 7. And definitely not 9. Kids, use your FINGERS TO COUNT if you need to! Please don't give me another doe-in-headlights look!

Best quote:
"What ocean do we live next to, I?"
"[without flinching] The ENCHANTED LAKE!"
I pretty much had to have every nerve in my body restrain myself from busting out with an avalanche of laughter.

Since the second week of school, R has had a special place in my heart. She's a humble, bright girl with so much potential. Her mom is single, raising two girls by herself... her mom is so kind and really cares. She's a humble woman herself. The day I left for DC, I saw them in the parking lot, and that image was ingrained on my heart. It was rainy, and they were getting into a really rundown car. That did it for me. I really want to do something anonymously for Christmas for them... but I don't know how without looking sketchy. The advice I've been given so far is to talk to Mrs. W... Ms. L said she'd talk to her first to scope it out since they're best buds. I don't want to play favorites with my students, but she's one of the few students who doesn't show up in high-brand name clothes and doesn't complain about not having money (she accepts circumstances and does not let her be defined by it). Maybe her situation hit too close to home. I'm just praying I have the resources and wisdom to know what to do next. It has to be something.

All right, I need to take a shower and get to bed... tomorrow night, Miss EB, Miss P, and I are having our "Get to Know Our Students through CINEMA!" sleepover tomorrow night. We're going to watch "High School Musical" and "March of the Penguins." It'll be pretty funny... hopefully I can stay up that long. I'm normally knocked out by 10pm.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Little nuggets.

Since I won't be here this weekend to give a real update of the week, I thought I'd type up some little nuggets of humor (moreso for the benefit of my remembering them)...

1. I: "Miss F, you sound like the radio."
Me: "I sound like a radio??"
I: "Yeah, a radio. You should go sing the radio--I mean-- the announcements."

2. The latest thing in the classroom is saying, "Miss F, I'm sorry for [insert poor behavior choice here] and I'm showing you." I have told them over and over to show me they're sorry, not tell me. It has now turned into an elaborately executed statement.

3. I have put the fear of the Star Chart in my students. Every 2 weeks, the table with the most stars gets to go into the treasure chest. Because behavior hasn't been up-to-par recently, I've been taking AWAY stars. They freak out when this happens, and hey, I get immediate results. :P

4. Remind me again. What is 10-5? 1 ?!?!?!?!?! What the?

5. Today was "Tie Down Drugs Day." So kids wore ties to school. Cutest. Thing. Ever. A is definitely my A from MR; he's hilarious and wore a little zipper Spiderman tie. Cutest. Thing. Ever. I'll have to put pictures up later.

6. Miss EB, Miss P, and I checked out a new church this past Wednesday night... thinking that we were going to be attending a contemporary service with music/etc... it turned out to be a meeting-like circle with about 6 other people. 6 other mid-to-elderly people. WOOOOO, awkward. But what was supposed to be an even more awkward situation turned out to be a great blessing ("Now we'll sing a contemporary song... contemporary in 1836!!"). We're checking it out (its ACTUAL services) on the next Sunday we're in town. It was a good laugh, and the people were friendly.

7. This video only encourages my desire to own one of these birds.


8. Note: When riding a bicycle on a busy street (NOT on a sidewalk) in the rain as twilight begins, do not wear black. Okay? Thanks.

All right, way too late. I need sleep. It's going to be a LOOOOOOOONGGGGG day tomorrow. At least I get to see some of my best friends in the destination.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Disguised superhero.

Out of all the weeks, this is a week I'm really looking forward to. Not only is it a 4-day week, it's the week I get to see most of my close friends in one place. C's running the Marathon in DC, so we're all going to support her. I'll get to meet I, hang out with K and C, and maybe drive up with E. I really, really need this weekend. It's a time where I can be Chelsea 24/7 instead of Miss F.

Since Tuesday is a students-off day, there is, of course, a bunch of things to do. And since my principal is sending me to RIchmond, my things don't get done. At least I waive my attendance at the new-teacher have-to-meet-up thing. That's always a bonus.

This week was all about rounding numbers. So we learned a Rounding Chant... it was pretty cute because they really got into it.

"1, 2, round down
3, 4, round down
1, 2, 3, and 4, round down
round down

5, 6, round UP!
7, 8, round up
5, 6, 7, 8, and 9
round up!"

I only had one cheater this past Friday (though it SHOULD be ZERO). J wasn't even sneaky about it; he looked around his folders and stuck his hand in R's desk. Yeah, it's ridiculous. If they learn nothing else this year, they BETTER learn that cheating is not ever tolerated. Oh, and the best thing, J forgot his cheating note to his mom AND their phone is temporarily disconnected. Fabulous, huh? I know his mom would not be happy. She'll find out tomorrow, I guess.

On Wednesday, another amusing nugget happened in the cafeteria with the cafeteria lady.
Cafeteria Lady: "I just can't stop looking at her eyes!"
Me: "Whose??"
CL: "Yours!"
Me: "Mi-mine?"
CL: "Yeah, everytime you come by I can't help but look! You know, they're like Wonder Woman's when she was regular."
Me: "Wonder Woman?? I hope that's a good thing??"
CL: "Oh yes, definitely, she was good, y'know. Not a bad person at all. You've got eyes like hers; you just know she's a nice person by her eyes. I loved that show."

I fail to see the real resemblance, but I think it just might be the whole glasses + blue eyes thing to the CL. It still made me laugh and gave me a smile since she did mean it as a compliment. This, of course, makes me question my superhero abilities. I am a regular ole teacher-civilian... so do I change into something when something lurks?? One just may never know.

[Note: I hope I NEVER have glasses that big. The shirt is kinda pretty though. hee hee]

On Tuesday, Miss EB, Miss P, and I went to the Educator's Night at B&N. It was pretty hilarious and cool (yep, we're nerdy like that). We got a ton of freebies though... which to a teacher is like abandoned treasure.

T's quote of the week:
Me: "T, what do you already know about Jackie Robinson?"
T: "Well, I went to one of his games."

Off to go do some grading.
- Miss Chelsea :)

Heard it all.

Before I get into another week, I need to document what happened at the end of last week. It's vital.

1. DS' meds were a bit off and he decided it was okay to kick J in the stomach. DS was suspended for a day; he'll be back Monday. J went home because his mom wanted to get him checked out. DS now sits at an island table all by himself, per assistant principal's command.
2. No crayon eating incidents, but V was caught cheating during our reading test. She went into hysterics after I took her paper, told her to write a note to her parents about what she did, and finish it in Mrs. A's class.
3. RIGHT AFTER I give a big talk about cheating and that I won't tolerate it, T also decided to cheat on our spelling test. ON THE FIRST WORD. I took his paper, he went into even more dramatic hysterics because he got caught. He couldn't calm down, so I moved him and told him he also needed to write a note to his mama telling her what he did and why he wasn't able to finish his test. (The big kicker is that he does WELL on spelling so there really was NO reason to cheat.) He pretty much threw a temper tantrum the rest of the day.
4. And the best part of all Friday. According to Ta, I'm a "white ho" because I change her clothespin to yellow all the time. And Mrs. A is a "fat white ho" because she made her turn around at lunch (note: Mrs. A is black). I have heard it all now. I didn't hear it straight out of her mouth (6 students confirmed it, and my #1 trustworthy student admitted to calling Mrs. A mean and then admitted that Ta said the other stuff), but Ta showed signs of all guilt when I called her over.
"Ta, come here please."
"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!! I DIDN'T DO IT!"
"Did I say you said something?"
"But I didn't say it!!"
Mmm hmmmmmmm. It was quite hilarious because Mrs. W (the crazy guidance counselor) came in and gave a short discussion about it. She gave everyone the opportunity to privately confess on paper. We did have one little boy (the new one J) who confessed to something completely unrelated (he said, "I called him a faker"). haha So summarily, Ta also lied and said she didn't say anything. I called Ta's mom, she was shocked, Ta was in hysterics as well. Mrs. A and I had some laughs/soapboxes about society since, you know, hoes gots-ta stick together.

My sister's coming into my classroom tomorrow, so that'll be neat. Not only do I get a bit of help, I also get to show LK her big sister's classroom. :) It's a pride thing, I think.

On a less crazy note from last week, my kids really loved the tornado bottles. I remembered I LOVED them in elementary school, so I found the connector, two soda bottles, and some food coloring. It's pretty awesome. It makes tornado loopies when you spin it. Hmm, it's hard to explain.

I'm being sent to a professional development seminar up in Richmond in two weeks (October 23rd). It's about test-taking strategies, so that'll be interesting. At least they're providing food! It's an expensive seminar (thankfully my school is paying!!). The fun side note is that I'm staying with C's mom and dad, so I get to make a social visit as well. They live in this gorgeous house; almost a dream house of mine. It'll be nice.

Last weekend, I went to my other half-brother's birthday party at the bowling alley. Two things. 1) One of the moms came up to me and thought I was one of the new soccer moms. 2) S' friends thought I was S' aunt. While this makes my maternal side glee, my 23-almost-24 side goes "Great, not only do I already look like a mom, people are going to start envisioning me in a tacky light-up holiday sweater with matching vest." I really don't think that's my type of honey to catch the flies. If I ever meet anyone who ever finds that attractive and/or sexy, I will prance around in an 80's leotard with fluorescent bangles and scrunchy legwarmers to the tune of "You Can Dance" by Madonna while holding the sign "WHY?!?!?! ... and now get your head checked." in a public place.

- Miss Chelsea :)

Four eyes.

I definitely jinxed myself last weekend by boasting that I haven't gotten sick yet. Well, Sunday night, it hit and had my throat out of commission this past week. I'm never stating the obvious ever again. :P

On Friday, V decided it was okay and wise to eat a black crayon. She had black flecks around her mouth and on her tongue. I literally had a smack in the forehead moment. Five minutes after, she said she felt like she was going to vomit. OH WHY COULD THAT BE?! Is it because you ate a stick of colored WAX?! So she emptied her stomach of crayon in the girls room, and I asked her what possessed her to eat that crayon. She gave me the most vacant look I've seen from her. I told her that I expected that from a kindergartener NOT a second grader. And this was the "what the heck" conversation amongst the teachers.

Another moment of the week was that I've convinced my kids that I have 4 eyes (2 on the back of my head), and that I got my second pair when I graduated to become a teacher. It's pretty awesome. I'm pretty sure I'm going to give them a complex when they're older.

Me: "You think I can't see what you're doing when I'm meeting with another teacher or writing stuff on the board. Remember boys and girls, how many eyes do I have?"
Them: "FOUR!!"
Mar: "They're just hidden in your hair!"
Tay: "You might even have more than that! [pats her cheeks] You could have some here too!"
T: "And here! [pats neck]"
Me: "That's right. You remember that."

I also have a new kid named J. Thankfully, he seems like he's either average or above average in terms of reading levels and other tasks. That will make his transitions a lot easier for him.

M sent me the most hilarious video ever called Math911. Check it out. Why can I see one of my own future kids doing this? haha

I have parent-teacher conferences on Monday. That means I don't have to go into school until 11am. Isn't life beautiful? I get sleep and no traffic? Everyday should be conference day. Hopefully the conferences will go well. Every single one of my parents are coming in. Again, I'm not a public speaker. "But you're a teacher, Miss Chelsea!" I can speak in front of kids like nobody's business... but with adults, I'm intimidated because I have to know what I'm talking about in every word I say. With kids, you can make a mistake and laugh it off, knowing that they don't really care about that. They just want to know they're protected, loved, and capable of learning. With adults, you're left wondering if they took you down in esteem or are now saying "what the heck are they doing in the classroom?!"

On a parental note, I am really fortunate to have the parents of the lower-performing kids really care about their kids' education/homework (I know other teachers aren't so fortunate). Every single one of my lower kids gets all their homework completed every week. That REALLY helps and will hopefully make a difference in their kids' learning this year.

I went to the Virginia Aquarium on Friday, too, for a Teacher Appreciation Night. I got to see the new IMAX "Sea Monsters" for free (pretty cool)! :D I love having educator perks. The aquarium isn't like Boston's... but they're apparently going through a lot of renovations which is good. Hopefully it'll be a lot better in the next few years. I did enjoy the harp seals when you walk into the place though... sooo cute.

I have free passes to the Virginia Air and Space Museum, too, so I'm hoping to check that out in the weeks to come. I'm part of their "Educator's Connection!" Yeah!

- Miss Chelsea :)

A QUEEN!

It's September's end, and so I figured I should post before October hits.

Two weekends ago, I was in a friend's wedding in Minnesota, so I wasn't around. That Friday was my first experience with a substitute. Note to all: Subs do not ever follow the plans you have left them. This was confirmed by every teacher I talked to regarding this issue. My sub did not administer an important reading selection test and put me behind this past week; the kids also didn't do as well on it because they had a whole weekend to forget about the details. Needless to say, my confidence in the reliability of the substitute is nil. What made it slightly more awkward was when the sub came by the following Tuesday and introduced herself. My mouth said, "Oh, hi, nice to meet you!" but what my mind was saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm not requesting you again!"

I'm finally getting into the routine of things at school. I don't feel completely exhausted by the end of the day. I'm still tired. That's inevitable though due to my chronic always-tired and introvertedness. I can't wait until it all becomes second hat to me. I'll really be flyin' then!

My students are really into Magic School Bus, and this, of course, makes me very happy. I have successfully passed on my obsession. :) I'm really surprised how most of my kids said they love Math and Science more than Reading/Writing. Maybe it's because numbers seem more connected to them than the stories we're reading.

I still don't like that we have to read stories out of a textbook... and I WILL find ways to make it interesting or better for them. Quite honestly, CP's reading program is kinda sucky. The materials are great, but the way the program is executed is not so much.

The best quote from last week was a gem from T...

We were creating our Open House booklets to show parents, and one of the questions was to fill in the rest of "Someday I hope to be..." Without hesitation or thinking, little T shot up his hand. I called on him first and asked, "What do you hope to be one day, T?" His priceless response: "A QUEEN!" All of the kids whipped around their heads, bug eyes, and were like, "He means a king! He can't be a queen!" I stuttered to hide my laughter, "Well, he... he canbutsomoving along now... who else?" He didn't take back his comment, flinch, or anything.

I'm creating a reader incentive bulletin board sometime this week. Each kid will have a rocketship, and they have to get through the solar system by reading everyday at home. At the end of the week, they bump up to the next planet. Once they get to Neptune/Pluto, they get a special book from me! I just have to get the black bulletin paper from Miss EB... she gets it free!!

All right, time to go eat some dinner. I have finished my schoolwork for the night.
- Miss Chelsea :)